a sign of summer

the image of a butterfly landing on this flowering plant outside my office, is a sure sign that summer is here. we're in the last week of july already, and the (better known name for that plant) lily of the nile, is beginning to wain, but i was able to capture this picture anyway!

oftentimes, i walk out of my office door in spring, and find that the neighborhood children (god love 'em) have been attracted by the pods of these plants before they bloom. they are fun to pull off and open up. and they are really fun to pop open! these drought resistant plants are a mystery, staying green all year. then in spring, they shoot up these pods that grow bigger and one day burst open to reveal this multi-pedal flower/lily.

if they are lucky enough not to get pulled off before they bloom, they turn into this beautiful gift that lasts for many weeks.

but this is the first time, in my memory, when butterflies have been so prevalent around these flowers. for several weeks, two yellow and black butterflies have been flying about. they may be the same ones that i have been around other parts of the church. they remind me of my former mother-in-law tanya, who died in 1997; she loved butterflies, and made sure to plant flowers that attracted them/welcomed them into her yard.

we often think of butterflies as the easter symbol, emerging after having a metamorphosis. but honestly, i didn't remember seeing butterflies this spring. so this summer, i guess, is the reminder that christ is risen indeed. long after the spirit has come upon us, a butterfly shows up! this is certainly not a bad way to start my day.

so, my suggestion is to be sure and enjoy the signs of summer. spend a little time in your yard to see what is developing. are there any surprises there for you? i've commented this year on the reward of spending time over the years tending to the flowerbeds, and how i don't have nearly the number of weeds i had expected this year after the long wet winter. but the color spots i thought would do well this year have been dismal. but, some daisy looking color spot that i picked up for the first time this year is offering great enjoyment. it might help if i knew what to call this rewarding plant, but in the end, i am just delighted.

that's summer, isn't it? a time to be delighted?! fix some iced tea, set a-spell, and enjoy the evening as it begins to cool down. we are often blessed in merced by a breeze. what a restful time god has designed for renewal. and while you are enjoying the beauty of the out-of-doors, do look for surprises. a butterfly could be coming your way. what a reminder that new life happens, even in the heat of the summer!

five years was enough!!!!!

and so i report the very sad news that after five very faithful and productive years, my modem at home has called it quits.

such a sad state of affairs, when one is unable to attach to the internet, or send an e-mail -- all because modem has taken it's last technological breath! what to do; what to do?!
well, if you are me, and perhaps many of you ARE me in this situation . . . . you call at&t and have them walk you through the checking it out and the sorting through. then you hear the words you long NOT to hear . . . i think your modem has failed.

so, off to the store i go, with great hopes that i can just put this new modem on my at&t account. silly me. ok, i got over that one! and my spirit perked up when i was told that 5 years with the same modem was really good! sometimes, it is only 3 years. sometimes within one year!

so, i now hold the new world's record for the shortest time that a modem could survive in my home. from 5 years to less than an hour. defective modem? defective installer? just plain defective? so, back to the store i go . . . three phone techs and the last harry potter movie later, i am on line again. i'll pass up a lot when i want to get the job done, but never miss an evening with friends and harry potter!

my advice this summer? skip the modem, and go see harry potter. oh, alright . . . plan to spend an entire day dealing with your computer, and reward yourself with a movie!

i have to admire the techs. they were super! and, of course, i was reminded to fill out their evaluations on line. but, they were very patient, waited while i figured out what they were saying, and then tired to follow directions . . . does anyone else have difficulty following directions?

among other things, i got to move my den around! it seemed one tech asked if i had another computer to check on. as it turns out, a net book serves as a computer. but, i had to find an empty outlet, and so i moved my desk, and i moved my couch, and then i moved around my surge protector, which i've wanted to do for ages, and i found things that had dropped behind the desk, and decided that dust bunnies were better left outside, and now my room is all re-arranged, and i can't find a thing! BUT, i'm connected again. and it only took 3 tries and 2 modems.

i wonder if modems come in colors? my last one was grey. this one is white. maybe i'll find out next time! here's hoping that another 5 years will be enough!

the "selling" of the past.

we, of the sandwich generation, understand what it is to live 'in-between'. we live in-between our parent(s) and our child(ren). or, if we are a blended family or single, we may not have children or we may have sets of children, or multiple parents or even grandparents or extended family for which we tend.

as many of you know who follow my blog, my mother needed to move from her home in december into assisted living; a lovely place, but still, smaller than where she lived before, and with less need of 'things'. and so we, my sister and i, sorted and packed and put furniture on consignment. lots of picture taking, but not lots of story sharing, as my sister and i often were not in the house at the same time. my sister and i are not 'chummy', much to my mother's chagrin!

two events happened this month that have caused the sandwich generation feelings to kick into gear more strongly. my mother has become a bit more distressed -- which has caused more phone calling on my part (and that's ok, because mom is more easy-going, now, once she is re-assured; everything becomes 'good, wonderful, fine', and that works out well for everyone).

the other event that happened was that the house finally fell into escrow, and an estate sale was scheduled. my sister is dealing with the house, and i became the holder of all the items that were not placed on consignment. half of my two car garage was filled with boxes that i had rapidly packed up in january and not thought too much about since. but yesterday, our united methodist women, god love them, began to set up for an estate sale.

if you have need for someone to come in and set up a sale in your home, this is the group you want to come in and do the sale for you. they are organized, they have collective wisdom, and they are very fair and efficient. and besides all that, with the funds they receive, they support mission locally and globally! no worries; your treasures are safe!

because i could not hold the sale at my house, i was invited to have them host a sale in conjunction with anther sale. so two truck loads and two car loads (in my vw cabrio with the top down) later, all the 'stuff'' was in the new location, and my garage was empty. an empty feeling came over me.

i helped set up the 'selling' of the past. our women offered me one room that expanded into two rooms that has now overflowed into a third room. as people helped to unpack these treasured memories, i got to tells stories. 'these friendly village dishes by johnson brothers were the dishes we ate off of every day'. 'this fostoria (pattern america) were for special occasions. the red velvet cake my mother made for holidays looked great on these clear glass dishes'. 'look at the milk glass collection!' 'what's this? i haven't a clue -- but it's sterling!' 'these recipe boxes actually have all the family recipes. oh, people are always looking for recipe boxes'.

on and on the stories went. as i left to do other work at the office, and let the estate workers take over, that empty feeling from the garage came back to me again. this really is 'selling the past'. there is a need to sell these long-time companions, and not hang on to so much stuff. and yet there is such a feeling of loss at a variety of levels.

the "selling" of the past makes cents and makes sense. mom will be comforted when the sales are completed, but also, for the rest of us, we will experience the pangs of loss associated with moving on from the past into the uncharted future.

i realize that some things cannot be sold. memories, which we use to think of as eternal, will become lost. my mom can't always articulate those memories, and i don't always know the complete story. that empty feeling will be filled with new memories, but never completely filled. as i gaze around my house, i have kept some items for memory sake, and to pass on to the next generation, who may or may not want them, but they get to make their own decisions.

i've kept a piece of fostoria -- a bud vase; i've some of the silver and the tea set from my aunt; i've kept two plates with gold edging that my parents used at a bar-bee-cue in bakersfield. these are the few remaining plates that the 'guests' did not passed over the fence as they were leaving the party. (can you imagine your friends stealing like that?!)

but as i look around my home, i also see several items i have purchased at estate sales, and i wonder their story. i also realize that i have too much stuff -- a resounding sentiment echoed by others setting up at the estate sale! so, one day, someone, perhaps the united methodist women, will hold an estate sale for me. the past will be "sold", but perhaps the memories will linger, just for a while longer . . . .

summer breeze ... didn't happen!

usually i can get my images to consent to be in the place that i put them. not today!
so you get pictures first. i traveled to san francisco for the 4th of july. the picture with the modern buildings and the church in the middle is just a funny sight to me. i believe that is st. patrick's catholic church, but don't hold me to it ... i've been in it, and remember it being dark inside, and i had the feeling that you should be very quiet in there...didn't want to disturb god! but the city has grown up around it. i wonder what their ministry is all about ... now; surely they have changed their mission and vision over the years!




the guy with his hands folded in the shades is an art piece done by robert arneson, entitled 'california artist'. now, couldn't you have guessed that title?! and i thought, this is what people probably think that californians look like...and by golly, they do!
this can be found on the second floor of sfmoma -- see more information below about the summer breeze that didn't happen even in san francisco!


and where else would you find some 'body' on a roof but on 3rd street, south of market. south of market use to be a mix of 'don't go there alone; don't go there after dark; only strange people go there' when i was growing up. skid row use to be on 6th st. but now, south of market (or soho) is very artsy. the day was beautiful as you can see, but not a summer breeze in site!

so let me begin my blog where i actually intended to start, before my pictures got 'mis-placed'.

heat. hot. the house is hot. i'm hot. no complaints, just...where did the summer breeze go?


how to escape the heat, for a while. go to the movies. you have to know first off that i am not a woody allen fan. maybe i just connect with him in a way i don't want to admit, so i don't 'go there'. as a result, i rarely seek out a woody allen film, and if by chance i go to a film by him, i know within seconds!

so, last week, heat. hot. the house is hot. i'm hot. no complaints, just ... go to the movies. off i went to the first movie that started when i arrived; i wasn't picky. if i had been, i might not have gone. it was the matinee for $7.50 of 'midnight in paris'. i thought to myself, surely this was "meant to be". midnight seems to be when paris awakens! i loved visiting paris!

somewhere just as the picture begins to take off, i have a sense that woody allen is in the house!

sure enough...this is woody allen!!! BUT, it is GOOD! i'm drawn in, i'm interested, i get beyond the depressive main character that never seems to workout a relationship, and i begin to be a part of the story. it's paris, after all, and, there is time travel involved, and period costumes...i'm in love! i don't want to give anything away, but i will just say that gertrude stein is involved, which leads me to my next experience.

fourth of july. heat. hot. the house is hot. i'm hot. no complaints, just ... i gotta go find a summer breeze! so, when the invitation to go to the san francisco museum of modern art came along, i didn't hesitate ... and by the way, we'll see 'steins collect: matisse, picasso, and the parisian avant-garde'; it is showing on the fourth floor -- now through september 6th. no picture taking allowed of this collection. surely, san francisco will have a breeze -- and fog and 60 degrees!

i felt it was 'divine intervention'; god's still small voice that i listened to; both with midnight in paris and the steins collection, god just couldn't be wrong! so, all i can say is, GO! the combination of the two events helped me to understand the experience of that time period. it was educational! and i discovered that part of the stein family settled in palo alto after paris, just as wwii was beginning in europe. and i thought the 60's were turbulent! no breeze; no fog; no 60 degrees. but a perfect day!

ok, so today, back at work: heat. hot. the house is hot. the office is cooling. i'm still hot. no complaints, just ... ok, i did check the 10 day forecast; a cooling trend is on the way. maybe a summer breeze will happen by thursday! and maybe i'm changing too...this woody allen i could see again! and now to read up on the stein family. but first, a little easu and jacob!