i'm hopeful that the practice of these precepts can be useful to EVERYONE in ANY context.
the key ingredient is coming to a place of active listening, and realizing that getting to know the person and building up a relationship is MORE IMPORTANT THAN GETTING INFORMATION!
like this picture from the santa cruz county building looking toward the ocean, it is dense with foliage . . . even during this time of drought. yet, the denseness reminds us that there is much to see and explore; it is not just a bunch of trees and bushes; this is a complex encounter with the divine. conversing is complex . . . .
each encounter we have with someone is also an encounter with the divine. many faith traditions hold this truth; from a christian perspective, the saying goes, "the jesus in me meets the jesus in you.
this picture is taken from the same set of windows on the 5th floor of the santa cruz county building. by moving a few feet, the perspective from the set of windows is vastly different. so like listening in a conversation; be open; be moved from a rigid understanding . . . .
so it is when we are in conversation, or as john wesley called it, 'holy conferencing'; by careful listening and sharing ideas, we can communicate in positive ways; we can come to understand one another in deeper and more meaningful ways. . . .
it is vitally important that we improve our listening skills. what i especially like about this picture is the bit of fog that 'clouds the issue' so to speak; coming to a deeper understanding (dare i say 'praying about it') allows the fog to clear and the picture become focused. While the fog adds beauty to the picture -- in a conversation, 'fog' can be discomforting . . . .
here is a summer view of santa cruz, looking at the boardwalk .... even in a drought, this is just cool!
these are the precepts which are helpful in communicating with one another. and like learning any new way of communicating, each of us will need to practice to help make our communication pattern comfortable.
every person is a child of god ... this is the basic belief.
listen before speaking ... really listen; resist planning a retort.
strive to understand from another's point of view ... empathy.
speak about issues; do not defame people ... need i say more?
strive to reflect accurately the views of others ... 'i heard you say . . . .'
disagree without being disagreeable ... agree to disagree.
pray before you make decisions and allow prayer to interrupt your busy lives ... pray always.
one of the unplanned results of this summer's sermon series on holy conferencing was an opportunity to have a baby shower at the parsonage ... some 40 people gathered to celebrate the birth-to-be of victor in october!
on the hottest day of the year, we jammed into my un-air- conditioned home, and enjoyed conversation, the opening of baby gifts, food and beverages ... imagine a punch bowl filled with the image of a baby bathtub full of toys! (fear not! a little ginger ale, lime sherbet, and some blue food coloring, and you have a witty (and delicious) baby visual!
fun ... enjoyable conversations, a relaxed atmosphere, the guessing of how many jelly beans there were in a bottle, and the sharing of faithful wisdom wishes to the soon to be born victor! how much fun is that?!
delightful listening, and energizing fun!
and then an evening walk on west cliff that brought some fog, and the refreshing crashing of waves, and some people floating up 'air candle kites' (they might also be known as floating luminaries, but you get the picture ... as it was explained to me, the candles allow the 'kite' to be illumined, and float up until the candle goes out. as they rose, an "awe" floated out of me -- a prayer for victor, and a prayer that we can all practice empowering one another in ways of mutually agreeable communicating.
and now i am off for a trip to ashland; shakespeare awaitith..... be blessed!
