Wednesday, February 23, 2011

from pole to pole

so much of our world, it seems, make us choose between 'one or the other'... a or b; stop or proceed; in or out; yes or no. one pole or the other.

i notice this with key rings. two keys can look so alike; and yet, one works and the other does not. 'the powers that be' have deemed me worthy of having a "master key". wha-hoo! now i can open every lock in the church! the holy of holies, and the men's room; the sanctuary and the garage!

i am surrounded, so it seems, by so many poles. the right key --or the left key ... doesn't seem to be a 'middle of the road' key. the right answer or the wrong answer; sometimes we come up with "an" answer, but more often then not, people want "thee" answer. yes or no; this pole or the other pole.

this even happens in nature! yesterday as i was returning from a meeting -- driving the car almost on automatic pilot, as i was discerning an issue in my life and was being very prayerful; i came upon a little strip of highway 99 between turlock and atwater, where the wild flowers grow in spring. and they are in full bloom ... oranges and yellows and purples. such a beautiful sight against a backdrop of gray highway and green grass. but in the distance, there on the mountains that remind us we are a valley, were the mountains just covered with snow! how can this be? snow and wild flowers?! what could god be thinking?

i thought we were moving toward the broad spectrum of pole to pole and everything in between?! and yes, perhaps we are. maybe it is the poles that lie on either side that remind us of the vastness of what lies between. the many possibilities. there is a great distance between those wild flowers on highway 99 and the mountains of snow some two hours or more away!

maybe in my discernment, i realized something yesterday. of course it is not new to me, but more of a reminder. when i get so worked up about an issue, i force the issue to be about the poles, and i miss out on the possibilities of the 'middle ground'. sign ... at 52, i have to be constantly reminded -- not because i have forgotten, but because i forget in the moment of distress. i was reminded, yesterday, with the natural picture of the elements of winter and spring; the contrast put me smack dab in the middle!

i love the snow (in the distance), and i love the wild flowers (as i reach for my sinus medication). and yesterday, i got them both!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

an unexpected valentine

it was late when i went to my postal box. but inside, i found an unexpected valentine. funny thing about the unexpected -- you have to open it to find out who sent it .... so i did.

how thoughtful, how kind, how unexpected. a simple act of kindness. i understand simple not to be simple at all; it takes thought and time; but that unexpected kindness was truly a gift; like grace. this made me feel blessed; and of course i am .... and like everyone else, there are times when i wonder why.

but wondering why doesn't nag at me. i give it a moments thought (ok, sometimes more than a moment's thought, but i am human, aren't i?!) and what i do then is give thanks. the unexpected gives me pause .... and i am thankful -- for the unexpected, of course, and for the moment of pause that allows me to reflect and be grateful.

and as if the heavens were giving me added blessings, i was reminded of an e. e. cummings poem called 'i carry your heart with me'. wonderful for this time of year; a wonderful reminder for every day of the year. i even found, as i looked this poem up, that it has several versions on youtube.com. i wonder if cummings ever imagined he would be on youtube....of course the answer is no, but maybe he envisioned that his poetry would be read and would touch the heart...at least i hope he did! i still think i need a tutor for poetry, however.

so, take some time to reflect upon this little ditty. reflection gives us a great opportunity to be renewed and strengthened, and to live and act in new ways. take some time with the unexpected. i promise; you'll be glad you did....

i carry your heart with me
(i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it
(anywhere i go you go, my dear;
and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear no fate
(for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world
(for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart
(i carry it in my heart)

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

a memory of love

as i was trying to figure out something about love, i came across this reflection from al batt, from july 4, 2010:

when i turned 18, i told my father that i
should be able to stay out as late as i wanted.
my father agreed.
he told me that as long as i made it home
in time to milk the cows in the morning,
he was okay with it.
he added that because the car was only ll years old,
it needed to be home by midnight.
valentine's day is coming up; next monday! so many traditional items people purchase for that significant day of love. roses that cost four times as much as the day before -- now that's a gift of love! great for the economy! put them in a special vase, and admire them, try and remember the fragrance of roses. be of good cheer.
i love flowers, and they are a sign of love in so many ways. mostly, they are thoughtful; and thoughtfulness is the best kind of love, don't you think?
as i walked to my car late last night, i wondered what had gotten into the trees...today i notice that spring has gotten into them! no, it can't be! but yes...the flower bulbs are breaking through the dirt -- always a surprise for me because i forget they are there as the rest of the seasons progress. but, there they are. a loving reminder that spring is on it's way! the trees, too, are starting to bud. how can spring be on it's way so soon....i am only starting to plan for easter....and that is not until the end of april!
i do chuckle at al batt's reflection upon his youth and how we want to grow up so quickly. valentine's are all around, and yet, i still remember the unit in second grade on 'post office'. everyone had a special postal box where we would have our valentine's delivered. maybe that is why i walk quickly to my postal box each evening -- maybe signs of love will be there! well, if a bill can be a sign of love, i am well loved!
what a great memory to have, however, of feeling like we have reached "the right age" where we can be an adult -- only to be reminded that there is still so much to learn. 'i promise i'll be home in time to milk the cows'. 'yes you will, because the car isn't old enough to stay out past midnight'. i don't remember having a time to be home. but i do remember the voice in the dark that always greeted me whenever i came home. i wonder to this day...do parents ever get any sleep?
the flowers are awakening after a long winter's nap. spring is in the air. i've no roses at this time of the year -- i pruned my bushes last month! but signs of love are all around....roses that cost a fortune, bills that fill my postal box, and the reminder that we are never old enough to have someone top telling us that they care enough that we are home safely.
blessings of love to your day.....

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

the hands of time....stopped!

my 31-day clock stopped two days early, and it had only been wound on january 2nd. all that to say, that the hands of time stopped, and i didn't have any warning.

isn't that like like itself. reminds me of the parable about the leaving our house unattended....if we'd known when the thief was going to be there, we would have been prepared.

funny, though, how we are prepared for the "normal, day to day things"; and yet, even those things go hay-wire! my 31-day clock hangs crooked on the wall, because it won't run correctly if it hangs like clocks are suppose to hang. and, it usually starts to slow down a few days before it actually stops....but this time, it was humming right along (do clocks hum, i wonder?) and just stopped. never-the-less, it was a surprise.

so now i am a little off; (no comments, please, and STOP LAUGHING!!!) i am hopeful that since february is a shorter month, my clock will work itself out. if not, i might have to have it fixed -- and honestly, i don't have time for that (get it? i don't have time to get my clock fixed?) ok, ok, it has been a long january!!!

perhaps my actual meaning is that fixing my clock isn't my highest priority. when the hands stop, i have to wait for the time to be right for it to run again -- or i have to move the hands around, waiting for the gongs to go off at each hour and 1/2 hour -- or else my times will be out of sic with my gongs. as it is, i have to remember during the time changes that my clock is off -- one way or another -- for nearly a month until i re-wind! i don't mind the clock stopping, and having to wait, actually. it is just that the house gets so silent. it is as if the rhythm of life has stopped.

and yet, isn't that a reminder to us in this life. stop; wait; look; pay attention; wind when needed; move forward or backward as needed; make sure we're in sic! when we are out of sorts, anything can happen. but that might be a message too! when we are out of sorts, take time to find out what that is all about!

but in the mean time, my dining room clock is just fine. someday i'll tell you about my cuckoo clock; has to have it's chains pulled on a daily basis...and it never cuckoos at the same time that my dining room clock gongs....well, i'll leave that life issue for another day. time to go!