Tuesday, October 1, 2013

"and then it was ... done ...."

october first has arrived, and with it, some news....

let me begin from sunday.  the autumn, in the life of a united methodist church pastor, revolves around stewardship and annual meetings, not to mention planning for advent and christmas!

part of that planning time involves other people; this year being in a new church setting, i gathered our nominating team, and we gathered to have conversation and a meal together.  yes! chinese food!  and following a good meal, there is the 'sharing of fortune'.

in the 'worth keeping' category, came this fortune:  "all personal breakthroughs begin with a change in beliefs".

spend some times with that thought ... what are some personal issues that you have struggled with in your lifetime that changed when you looked at the issue from another perspective?  how did that happen?  did you talk it over with someone; did you simply give yourself time to think about the issue differently?  did you experience something that made you think about that issue, differently?  did the situation change suddenly?

from my own experience, i have found that focusing on an issue intently often brings me to a block.  when i feel blocked, i then know it is time for me to let it rest for awhile.  this still holds true for me:  when i was growing up, often i would hit a wall and not be able to figure out a solution, and so i'd just go to bed!  for many, struggling with an issue led to sleep-less-ness!  not for me; when something weighs heavily on my mind, i sleep better than ever, and in the morning, most often, i'd wake up refreshed and with "thee" answer!

sometimes a change in beliefs means simply that i have to change/adjust/adapt MY beliefs.  we often hold our thought process as optimal, when, in reality, they are often only one option.  so, it 'fortune' came to me at a 'fortunate' time.

and here's why!  on monday, october first, my lovely home in merced closed in a short sale; it was recorded, and a couple who fell in love with it, is moving in.  i've had so many thoughts and emotions about the situation and the reality that led me to not only purchase the house, but have to leave it.

since moving from merced to santa cruz, and getting back into 'parsonage living' once again, i've grieved and wrestled with what it means to 'let go' -- especially letting go of things we cannot be in control of any longer.  while some may say, 'there's a plan about this', i can't imagine anyone intentionally planning to have to lose their home.

but having another couple move in, while at one time may have angered me, actually thrills me, for that house has been sitting vacant for three months.  now it will be filled with new sights and sounds; laughter and tears.  and i am released to the ties to something that is no longer and cannot any longer be mine.  it has been a drain these last few months, financially and energy-wise.  and today, while i am no longer a home-owner, i am released to move forward; freed to live into a new adventure, unencumbered.

an emotional burden is lifted, and i feel lighter; these three months, like the fortune cookie said, was somewhat of a drain.  but today, i've had a personal breakthrough.  i am able to begin anew.  i've slept the best i have in weeks, last night.  an unfortunate incidence has been completed; i've been dealing with it (as have a number of others) ... and then it was ... done.  a new opportunity has begun.

what lies ahead .........