coffee in my cup . . . .

it is tuesday, the week of preparation for so many things . . . .  a transition into a new (christian) year, preparation for advent and christmas, and of course, the hectic preparations for our united methodist women's christmas bazaar entitled 'angels among us' (saturday, 9-1:30).  all of this will be an awesome experience....really; not to be missed.

and, as i was driving to our church building this morning, i was reminded of what today is...actually, i was reminded what friday and monday were, and informed about what today is.  friday was 'black friday'.  monday was 'cyber monday', and today is 'giving tuesday'.  giving tuesday?  should i run out and purchase a hallmark card?  to whom would i send it?

so, let's unpack these particular days a bit...who in the world came up with the term black friday for the day after thanksgiving?  that term originated, i believe, as the historical day in 1929 when the stock market crashed.  doesn't it seem a bit odd to term the day after thanksgiving with such a negative term as we make preparations to celebrate the gift of new life?  it might be best not to get me started on how we lost thanksgiving this year, but, i really cannot resist commenting.

whose idea was it to open stores on thanksgiving anyway...camping out the week before so that we can save a bunch of money for door-busters that we do not absolutely need?!  good heavens; what has become of our priorities, the necessities of life, and sharing with others out of the abundance of our lives?!  not to mention what happened to employees of those stores who were forced to come in to work.  honestly, santa's elves did not show up to prepare the way for thanksgiving shoppers.

having made the decision not to shop on thanksgiving, i couldn't help stopping on my way home to view the 'christmas shopping extravaganza experience'.  i was curious in an 'i can't believe i'm doing this sort of way' -- i stopped at the super walmart just off the freeway in atwater, just to see what there was to see.  shopping began at 9 pm, i believe.  but i was driving by at 6:45 pm, and noticed the parking lot full of cars; no line to get in -- the store was already open!  and crowds of people with shopping carts, just waiting in the aisles, which were stuffed with covered items that said 'black friday' -- such an offensive term!  families were there for the duration, awaiting, not the anticipation of the light, but the magical hour of 9 pm.  i could not get out of that store fast enough!

and away from the stores i stayed this entire week-end!  and shopping on line on monday?  call me old fashioned, but i also missed the era of catalogue shopping.  i'm very tactile; i like to touch and review and see what i am purchasing.  granted, i miss a lot of deals, but i rarely have to return anything.  of course, i don't do much shopping.  the world economy, thank goodness, is not dependent on me!

however, i did offer my help to the economy on monday, by shopping at marshall's.  my travel coffee mug broke.  (thank you for your sympathy).  i have long felt that purchasing a beverage in disposable cups creates too much waste.  so i have several cups for the purpose of saving the environment -- mainly because i forget to bring mine when i decide to spontaneously want a beverage.

not knowing this to be 'giving tuesday', i am happy to report that i used my recycled-made coffee cup to purchase decaf coffee from a locally owned coffee shop this morning.  somehow, on a day like today, it makes sense to me to 'give back' to the environment -- and to future generations, a little less waste, and a little more support for locally owned.  and, by using my own cup, the price of my coffee was discounted; how awesome is that!  all in all a truly 'giving tuesday'!

it seems silly, i think, to be making such a fuss about all of this, as we begin preparations for christmas.  i need to be focusing on inviting the people with whom i am interacting, to focus their lives on welcoming hope, peace, love and joy into their lives, and in turn sharing those same ideals with others.  am i a little old fashioned?  am i longing for yester-year?  i may be a bit old-fashioned, but i believe i am not longing for 'the good old days'.  i believe each year we are offered an opportunity to re-establish our lives and our world with hope, with peace, with love, and with joy.  these are the items we cannot purchase and cannot be found on sale or on a clearance shelf.  they are things that we have; they are things we share.

if you feel the same, i invite you to start giving, today; not because it is 'giving tuesday', nor because you'll change the world overnight, but because the gift of new life begins with a change in our own life. i don't want to make myself crazy in this season, and i invite others to do the same.  maybe 'all is calm; all is bright' is simply an ideal.  but sitting with coffee in my cup this morning, i felt calm -- seems like a bright way to start my week . . . .

thanksgiving post-al

so i did a powerpoint presentation in sunday's service; and i might even comment that i'm thankful it is over.  sometimes we envision things and the thing that we see seems to have come from different eyes.

but none-the-less, there is absolutely nothing wrong with yosemite, for those who have eyes to see.  no matter what the season, the grandeur and beauty of god's creation presented in that park is beyond words, really.

sit in silence, and you can hear the breath of god...i kid you not!

and so i am thankful ... are you?  at this time of the year, we get to pause and lift up what brings us to utter the words thank you....

i got a call from daughter kristen last night, informing me that she had been side-swiped while driving home for work...i'm thankful she is safe, not much damage to her car, that she had the where-with-all to get the make and licence of the car the did not stop as she held her phone in her hand .... i'm very proud of my 24 year old...she even waited to call me until it was safe.  i'm thankful she was calm enough to be mature about how to handle a crisis; she's an adult, now...really! 

i'm thankful i had offers to attend thanksgiving...of course, that isn't really the reason i am thankful; i am thankful about knowing kind people, associating with people who offer grace, not because they have to, but because it is who they are....  i am thankful that i can say no and people not be offended, but say...'well, if your situation changes....'  i'm thankful i am good-enough friends with my ex-wife natalie, that i can be included in family situations.  i'm thankful to be associated with people who offer a place in their homes to strangers on thanksgiving; that undoubtedly people share what they have; we are truly a society in which so many people, but not all, have an over-abundance -- and are willing to share.  i'm thankful i know people who will be serving others this holiday.

and i am thankful i have all that i need.  not always do i have everything that i want, but i have a car that runs, a house that is warm and cool when i want it to be; running water with a washer and dryer that i do not have to put quarters into. 

i'm thankful to have a job, that i can pay my taxes that supports others who are struggling ... and while i don't like everything my tax dollars go for, i am thankful i can do something about that as well!

i'm thankful i was able to experience yosemite, and see the trees, and bridal vale falls with snow, and spend time being renewed and strengthened.

and i am thankful for you, who has taken the time to spend a little of your time in reflection this year with my ponderings.  may you experience the rich blessings that are around you ... all the days of your life.  and share the goodness ... such a gift of grace!

the 'fall' assignment

the fall assignment, of course, was to go to yosemite to experience the fall colors.  the picture to your left is not yosemite.  it is the fall colors of merced; the tree is in front of my home.  so, i am very fortunate to enjoy the fall colors in my own back yard, as they say! 

i was asked to share the illustration project from my sermon on sunday.  based on heidi neumark's experience in a church in mexico city, the people of the church bring rice and share it with others.  i am inviting you to do the same; if you do not live in merced, simply secure a sandwich size baggie and when you are finished with your 'fall' assignment, share the baggie with your local food pantry.  the 2 cents is reflective of what the widow gave in the parable in mark -- so, of course, you'll want to read that parable!  the illustration is as follows:

a glad-bag of rice based on mMark 12:38-44; two copper coins…contribute out of your abundance.

purchase a 1 pound bag of rice.    remove the 2 cents (i had placed 2 pennies and these directions in each bag) and place them next to your plastic baggie as a reminder of the sacrificial voice you are making on behalf of others.    leave the plastic baggie and the 2 cents visible on your counter, and as people ask about it, share the story of how you are helping to make a difference in the lives of the people here in merced (or the community in which you live).

for each person who eats in your household, place a spoonful of rice in the bag.    you might be tempted to just pour the bag of rice in the baggie and be done with it…but pastor jay says…try to resist!    one of the points of this service project is to realize that, while we are privileged to live without a spoonful of rice every meal, there are others who would live an entire day on that one spoonful of rice.    when you have filled up your plastic baggie, bring it to church with you and place it in the green tub in the hallway on the cypress street side of our church building; your bag will be used in our food pantry.  (or bring it to your nearest food pantry).

carry the pennies with you as a reminder that in order to really make the change jesus talked about, we will need to become advocates of change.   when you’ve finished this ‘project’, share your experience with the church by email (umcjay@sbcglobal.net) or by a written note; and share your experience with one other person not related to our community of faith.   then invite someone else to ‘serve god’s world’ by advocating for a change.

so, as some of you know, an out of town friend of mine and i were to go to yosemite...and we did, but we hadn't expected snow!  notice the contrast between the tree in my yard and the tree in the yosemite valley!  ironic!

this will be the memory i hold of the fall of 2012, as i fill up my bag with rice; thankful for a warm roof over my head, and the ability to experience the beauty of the fall, as well as the ability to share from the abundance of god's gifts.

i hope you have been blessed . . . . and that you will share that blessing in the days to come.

election results, not yet in....except:

while the election results are not yet in...the polls in california have only been open for three hours -- 6 hours on the east coast -- there are some things i'd like to share, for which i don't mind expressing how i've voted.

if i were to be part of the 'exit polls', i would vote in favor of:

+ sending a birthday cookie gram to your daughter (or loved one or whomever you wish) on their special day...get well, congratulations, happy happy, thinking of you ... whatever!  kristen turned 24 on halloween, and i was able to spend saturday with she and her significant over lunch.  but on the actual day of her birthday, both of us were working -- imagine that!  so i sent her a 'cookie bouquet'.  she was delighted, and she could share it with the office!  so, 'making some body's day' gets my vote!

+ walking and/or driving under the trees on an autumn day while they drop their leaves.  this will probably be as close as i get to being in a victory parade.  so, why not make it an annual event every day during the fall.  if you are driving in merced, i recommend a slow drive down bear creek.  if you imagine yourself out strolling in the woods in the north east, this is our 'north east'.  or take a walk down a tree-lined street; almost every street in merced has trees.  so get out and vote for your favorite tree-lined/leaf-falling street.  after all, it is your right, and it can be so very healthy; bring a friend or family member to share the experience.  so, 'sharing in the fall' gets my vote!

+ i love witty-ness!  so, as i passed by the social security office, i noticed the sculpture of the (older) woman walking, holding the hands of the two children.  honestly, i hadn't given that piece of artwork too much thought, although i've always appreciated it.  but someone has draped a pink scarf around the woman's neck; bright pink!  you can't help but notice it!  is it a statement on curing breast cancer?  did the person think she might have gotten chilly at night?  did someone lose their scarf and said scarf was placed there to be easily found?  no matter the reason, it made me chuckle and think.  so, it gets my 'witty in pink' vote!

--- votes i don't count:  mud slinging; negative ads; political mailings; recorded messages in which you only get 1/2 the message because the other machine 'didn't wait for the beep'; calls from a live person that won't take 'no' for an answer the first time i say it.  these get my 'you're wasting my patience' vote, and somehow i even lose my christian attitude around such experiences.

one last vote, in favor:  yosemite.  a friend of mine has decided to spend a few days of his vacation visiting merced, and we're off to see yosemite on saturday!  am i not the most fortunate person in the world?!  it will be his first experience of yosemite and that park, anytime, is a treasure -- and it's in our own back yard!  it has been a long while since i've been there in the fall, and i'm so excited to share the experience with a friend.  you-all are invited to come along too...so that you can experience why 'yosemite gets my vote'.  no matter what, it will be an experience, an adventure, and additional steps on my pedometer!  and that's a vote worth counting!!!

what gets your vote?

and now, after reading all the way to this point, i want to share a final thought: this election result just in --  you get my vote too!  thanks for sharing this time with me.  i hope all is well with you . . . . blessings to your day.

the pastor's new clothes....

the change in weather caused me to have to look in my 'winter closet' (it is kind of embarrassing to admit that i have two closets in my room; one for cold weather and one for hot.)  but, alas, it is a luxury not to have to dig boxes out of the attic or garage and exchange clothes for the season.  i confess, i am a 'white male of privilage', but i am also someone with less clothing than i had last year!  My winter clothing is somewhat dismal, and i feel 'frumpy' again -- even at 6 in the morning when i go exercising! 

i know that no one cares what i look like when i go walking -- i only care when i look in the mirror!  once i'm out and about -- especially in the rain -- i just don't want to look like a drowned pathetic pastor; i confess, i need to get over this!  alas, maybe one day.

none-the-less, when i went into the closet yesterday, i discovered that i had three pairs (there's that privilege thing again!  i can hear jesus now:  "if you have two jogging outfits, give one away to someone who has none".  well, i don't actually have "outfits", more like sweatshirts in various sizes and three pairs of gym pants.  the sweatshirts are out of shape -- and go along nicely with the pastor, thank you very much!  and the gym pants are, well in church we'd call them "holy" -- which might be nice in church, but not so much on the street for reasons that have nothing to do with fashion.

so, here i am; it is my day off; the perfect time to go shopping!  and the perfect excuse -- i actually 'need' something that will be useful.  so, away i go...shopping!

i went to marshall's first...to their clearance racks.  nothing.  then to their sport section.  i am not about to pay 20 bucks for a pair of gym pants -- i don't need to be a walking billboard at 6 in the morning!  besides, isn't this suppose to be a store that is sort of carries 'close-out' stuff?  that seemed a little high to me, and besides -- the guys shopping looked like they meant business.  so, at least i had something to compare to when i when to target next door.

in target, there wasn't a soul in the men's department, so i could really snoop around.  and there, folded and stacked nicely,  were gym pants...the kind i remember from high school...and, yes you guessed it, they were on sale!  half price! so, i just love 2 for 1 sales, so, of course, i bought two!

now, i am so use to reading labels these days that i couldn't purchase this great deal without looking at how they were made.

one thing you have to know about me is that i am a cotton man; never have liked polyester -- and it has nothing to do with the biblical notion of not wearing blended materials.  it has to do with, well, if you must know, sweat!  cotton breathes, and i find polyester doesn't.  so, that's my story and i'm sticking to it.

but, another thing you have to know about me is that i recycle.  polyester is a chemical; thermoplastic.  and these particular gym pants were a 50/50 blend of cotton/polyester...so i almost put them back, even though it was a great price!  BUT, then i read a little further, and 5% of the polyester was from recycled bottles.  so, i felt like i had a duty to perform; i was helping to save and support landfill.

so, home i go, stick them in the washer (because i hear my mama say, 'you never wear anything before you wash it first') and this morning, in between rain storms, i don my new and newly laundered gym pants and an ill-fitting old sweatshirt -- also a 50/50 blend, but not from recycled bottles -- and away i go.

1/2 way through my walk, i want to shed my sweatshirt, but i have no tee shirt underneath -- that would have made me way too hot (i know this from experience), but if i had taken off my sweatshirt -- well, let's just say, "not a pretty site".  so, i thought, a little discomfort for the sake of the cause.  the cause, of course, is that i'm still trying to be healthy, and i am trying to purchase just want i need, not what i want.  and i have lots of sweatshirts that need to get more holy before i replace them.

of course, there is always the clothes closet...and that might be a thought, since i don't need so many...just enough so i don't need to do laundry every day!

the pastor's new clothes...not a tie, not a shirt, not even a new pair of shoes!  gym pants...and remember, you heard it here first.  what's in your closet, by the way???  

being followed . . . .

it was monday. 

the morning air was crisp with the feel of autumn. 

the trees had begun to turn from shiny green leaves to dull-ish green, red and brown.

the chill in the air was beginning to warm by the time i came into my sub-division.

not more than 400 yards from home, it happened . . . .

i noticed that i was being followed.

short. 

quiet.

happy face; winning personality.

a little puppy was tracking my steps, keeping up, and not making a sound.

poor puppy.  friendly as could be, but obviously lost. 

but, s/he didn't seem to mind!

s/he had found a new friend; me!!

now, you have to understand, i was not/am not looking for company; if i were, i might invest in a gold fish!

i really am an animal lover, but i am simply not at home enough.

cats are certainly independent and able to provide self-care.

dogs need to be taken care of, but welcome you when you return like a long-lost friend.

i could tell, this puppy was of the very friendly variety!

s/he would lick you to death.

s/he stayed at my feet, but not under my feet, and remained quiet as could be for the rest of our walk.

i encouraged her/him to go home, pleading with her/him that s/he simply couldn't stay.

and so s/he sat at my entry, happy as you please, for quite some time . . . (i kept checking!)

and every time i opened the door, that pup stood to greet me, happy as could be!

what's a pastor to do?

feel guilty!

and so that is what i did; all morning long, i felt guilt and worry.

now, pastors and counselors alike will tell you that guilt is a useless experience.

yes, guilt does cause you to reflect and change behavior, but i had nothing to feel guilty about....

except....

i have this home, freely available; a postage size backyard, fenced; just the perfect size for a puppy!

i could offer a friendly home...not even paper delivery to roll up as a weapon of torment!

that was my guilt, of course.

so my guilt turned to justification....

i'm hardly home except on my day off.

and while i am close to the dog park and could easily walk there, when would we go?

this week alone, i have a meeting tuesday night, choir wednesday night and bible study thursday night.

guilt leads to justification which leads to (in)action.

and still i kept checking the door to find this cute little puppy just waiting for my undivided attention.

of course i worried about...spots on the carpet, the cost of food, shots, and doctor visits.

somewhere along with the guilt, the worry and the justification, i thought about fun-times.

my morning was spent like this!

what to do ... what to do!

so i did what every good pastor in a dilemma does; i began to bargain!

if s/he's still here n another hour...or by the time i left for the post office....

but as the morning wore on, the dogs in the neighborhood began to bark, and the city yard workers came.

and then (and i really think this is what did it!) someone came by passing out kfc flyer's!

by the time i returned to the front door just before noon, the puppy was gone.

and then, of course, i began to worry...again!

what happened to her/him?

is s/he alright?

did s/he find her/his way back home?

will they take good care of her/him; secure the house?

what if s/he got run over?

what if s/he started to follow me home again?

can't you see this was making me crazy???

of course, i knew this issue would eventually come up; it had to!

i've seen the county animal rescue truck driving through town on a regular basis.

probably working overtime!

people fleeing from their homes at night, abandoning their pets.

cats around the area; litters of kittens.

dogs, less able to care for themselves, running around, searching for food, shelter, and a friendly face.

judgment and anger.

not for the four-footed creatures, but the two-footed ones!

by nightfall, after walking the neighborhood, there was no evidence of the puppy.

no evidence this morning, either.

so, from worry to hope.

hope that s/he found the (perfect) place called home.

hope that s/he would be well cared-for and offer companionship in return.

and hope that maybe, someday, i'd be in a place to offer a place of refuge for someone...

other than, of course, just dust-bunnies! 

(a non-) coastal fox that was (not) in the garden

on my coastal-redwood retreat last week, who knew that my eyes would be opened so as i read a little paperback book?!  the beauty of the week, was somewhat diminished as i read 'not just a one night stand; ministry with the homeless' by john flowers and karen vannoy.

i was visually seeing the information in this book, and wondering how we change the system; what would it take to get people 'off the streets' and also willing to change their lifestyle.  i can speak about how difficult it is to continually address the changes i need to make in my lifestyle...how does one change a nation?  health care, mental health, food scarcity, standard of living, dependency, loss, spiraling downward....how do we care and make a difference and not keep the cycle going?

ironic, how the beauty is also the environment in which change is the most difficult to address.  no simple solutions, and stopping all forms of programing to address the needs is not a solution either.

 

but here in merced, we have a group that is forming to address some form of community garden at the church.  if nothing else, it has been a conversation starter -- one that seems to continue to be on the minds of the community.  for instance, leave it to a group of united methodist women from merced to travel to a meeting in oakdale where there is, of all things, a church garden.  and, on top of everything else, they have a conversation about it, and take pictures, and solicit examples of crops that could be grown in this area. 

what an example of being faithful stewards...and they thoughtfully brought a 'care package' to the pastor.  awesome!  what a treat!

we've talked about how we can utilize this community garden, still just an idea being kicked around...including students across the street at our neighborhood elementary school...growing crops to be included in our food pantry...using this as a demonstration of how to extend healthy habits...

what a remarkable experience this past week has been for me.  so, as i was thinking about all of this on my early morning walk on monday, what should exit stage left toward (what i presume was a den) but a beautiful fox...right there on van guard; crossing a vacant lot in the area where i am now walking, "van" -- could be male or female; i didn't stop to check -- was this huge flowing tale.  i've never seen a fox up close and personal before; beautiful flowing tale.  i may never see 'van' again, but i won't stop looking every time i am on that street.

what could possibly bring a fox so close to a neighborhood?  food or water?  perhaps all animals are alike after all; we need safety and protection; shelter and food; space and adventure.

and so, as i reflect upon a non-coastal fox that was not in the garden, i am mindful of what an impact this week made in my life; the homeless who are my sisters and brothers; the sisters who were so missionally minded that their meeting became an opportunity to learn about a community garden and what they could do in their/(our) community; and a fox just seeking to live without danger.  we, none of us, are really all that different.

on my bed at retreat, a tangerine (ok, and some hard candy!) greeted me with these words from hildegard of bingen...good people....  i leave them with you to ponder:

. . . rooted in the sun,

you shine with radiant light.

in this circle of

earthly existence

you shine so finely,

it surpasses understanding.

god hugs you.

you are encircled

in the arms of

the mystery of god.

the living water lives in us.  how will you be the living water for someone today . . . .