searching for shalom

ann weems, whom i have actually met, wrote a resource entitled 'searching for shalom' back in 1991.

you know, we're still searching! peace, justice, wholeness, awesome; we get little visions of it some days. this was a day when i actually had to look to find shalom....too many things, too much, and not enough. i even missed centering prayer...and who doesn't need to take time for prayer?!

so, here i am, 6 pm, having missed the ending of our after school program, finally sitting down to ponder; as i've said several times of late, 'just not enough days in the hour'. what an excuse!

so i turn to ann. she has been a great resource over the years. maybe that is why i love books so much; you can turn to them over and over again; sticky notes, dog-eared pages, highlighted sections. they become my best friends -- especially when i remember to turn back to them!

i shared a couple of writings from ann two weeks ago for a meeting. the following is one i hadn't yet shared, but it is useful, me thinks! see what you think....where does the spirit take you; what feels come to your senses?

i keep searching for shalom, drawing my water from one well after another --

but still i thirst for the shower of blessing that is shalom.

i yearn for life to be just and merciful and peaceful,

but streets are filled with daily deaths of spirit and of flesh . . .but no shalom.

i keep searching for shalom, away from crowds and commotion,

but peace and quiet don't blot the pain of broken hearts and broken bodies.

i keep searching for shalom, thinking perhaps i'll find it

in a quiet field of flowers or in star or sea or snow,

but still the innocent are trampled.

i keep searching for shalom, standing in holy places, sitting among saints.

surely in the sanctuary i will find shalom.

i keep searching for shalom, but holy places are not magic.

good works and printed prayers don't guarantee shalom.

beyond cathedral walls and above ethereal music, the blaring din of death persists.

back in the streets, the people walk in darkness.

i keep searching for shalom.

i have pursued and sought it.

have i looked in all the wrong places?

what is this bonding, this glue among us, this cohesiveness that holds us in the hope of shalom?

the longing won't die.

the hope keeps emerging like a new sprout that perseveres on the stump of a felled tree.

even in the daily barrage of obscenities some new star melts into my eyes

and the promise persists.

here in the darkness some new light stirs within me.

here in the streets i find shalom.

shalom lives not in the sanctuary, but in the streets . . . in chaos -- on a cross.

in the face of jesus is the peace that passes all understanding

the everlasting sabbath . . . shalom!

thanks for reading that with me...i needed this reminder, today, that peace is within reach. . . .

just being neighborly?

isn't it amazing to think of the term, 'just being neighborly....' who could ever imagine such a concept would look like these two pictures?!

but we live in a time when we really don't know our neighbors very well. we drive into our garages and close the door; safety in our homes. who watches out for our neighbors? who watches out for our neighborhood?

these pictures were taken with my i-phone (who new one could have a camera so handy?!) saturday morning, after a spree in our neighborhood friday night/saturday morning. gratefully, with a few phone calls, clean up was able to be done, at least on the church. in the background of the second picture is our neighborhood school. in the background behind our church sign is the steeple. is nothing sacred any more?

we live in times when it takes such energy to be neighbors; life, it seems, takes so much energy. maybe that is why we don't really extend ourselves to get to know one another. but maybe we need to start taking the time. i know of at least one street where neighbors are, well, neighborly. they watch out for one another; they check in with one another; they move refuge cans on and off the streets. does that happen in your neighborhood?

i am reminded of the movie, 'sister act', where the nuns are scared to go out, even though they have been tagged, and their church community is dying. and such concern is understandable -- not just in a hollywood movie, but in real life.

how do we go about being "neighborly" again? such action must be intentional, and yes, it does take time and energy. but so does repairing a community. and a community that falls into dis-repair takes much more time, energy, and resources to bring it back into shape.

prayerfully consider what you will do in your neighborhood....we need to explore that same issue in ours. what shall we do?

5 o'clock and all is . . . crazy!

it is 5 o'clock now that i am returning to start my blog. 'crazy time'; what happened to this day? (and, of course, it isn't over yet!)

i've just been able to complete a church project! (drumb roll, please!) i work with pastors who are going through the process toward 'ordained' (professional) ministry. this process can be something like what the food and drug administration does by putting their seal of approval on something. it is a long process, with a lot of time, energy and other investments (student loans, graduate studies, feed-back from a variety of sources, etc.) we are looking for 'transformational leaders'; a term that can mean all kinds of things, and worth the time for your own reflection; what does that phrase mean to you -- and about you?

throughout this past week, i have been thinking about what it means for folks not wanting to be a pastor, but to simply be in ministry. on sunday we reflected upon john wesley's covenant prayer. we used both the traditional language, and a 'post-modern' translation a la "shade-pierce" (joel scott shade serves as our music director and well, i'm the pastor). during the service, i invited people to use their worship programs as scratch paper, and take it home and reflect on how they would translate/utilize the wesley covenant prayer.

here are both versions; the traditional appears first:

i am no longer my own, but thine.

put me to what thou wilt, rank me with whom thou wilt.

put me to doing, put me to suffering.

let me be employed for thee or laid aside for thee, exalted for thee or brought low for thee.

let me be full, let me be empty.

let me have all things, let me have nothing.

i freely and heartily yield all things to thy pleasure and disposal.

and now, o glorious and blessed god, father , son and holy spirit, thou art mine, and i am thine.

and the covenant which i have made on earth, let it be ratified in heaven.

amen.

i am no longer my own. i am yours.

use me however you wish.

place me with whomever you want.

put me to service. bring me an incredible challenge.

put me in action. keep me on the bench.

i will be applauded or humbled for you.

fill me up! drain me dry.

i will be rich beyond my dreams or i will be completely destitute.

i serve whole-hardly at your pleasure and freely give you everything i have.

and now -- now , my magnificent creator, you are mine and i am yours.

lit it be!

and now let this contract that i make here on earth, be endorsed in heaven.

amen.

this isn't really a contest as to which is better; rather it is an opportunity to be engaged and ponder/journal what wesley meant by writing such a prayer. explore what it means to be in covenant, or under contract with god.

what is it like to dig deeply into your faith? not all of us are called to be pastors, but all of us are

called to make a difference; to transform as we have been transformed. we are all in ministry in one form or another. deepening our faith is dependent upon the investment we place in ourselves and our ministry.

when you're feeling like it's 'crazy time' and you are pushed in multiple directions, (to use the ghost buster's slogan) 'who are you gonna call upon'? a neighbor? a member of your small group? your loving companion? god? the wisdom of literature? or will you turn on the t.v. and hope the crisis passes away?

today we face many challenges, and we cannot just let time pass us on. this is the moment to be involved; to pray, to explore, to take valuable opportunities to live into our spiritual world.

set aside time each day for you and god; it will be the best time of your day. after all, i've never believed that 'crazy time' was a divine invention! do you?

on a clear day . . .

. . . you can see snow on 'them thar mountains'! merced is in a valley, and so we can see the mountains, and they are beautiful on this particular sunny day.

sharing the weather report reminds me of the movie 'breakfast at tiffany's'. just an aside, but i digress....

ah, the new year has started. and with it, i find myself packing up the left-overs from my mother's former home...the realtor said the house needed to be cleared of everything, and have new carpet (new paint wouldn't be bad either). well, packing up and new carpet seem like the best my sister and i can do at this point; it needs to be on the market soon ... and don't people usually like to paint with the colors they choose? (honestly, the walls look pretty good; the new carpet will be fine; and no, we don't have time to remodel the kitchen).

i've been charged with packing the more tedious stuff; wrapping china, earthenware, do-dads; things i remember; each has a story. but honestly, i've found it easier, i think, to pack up my mom's stuff that she will no longer use. basically it means that someone else will be able to create new memories, or imagine what it must have been like to eat meals from these plates.

i wonder if they will conceive of red velvet cake (from scratch with real butter icing) served on clear fostoria dishes on christmas and valentine's day; or everyday meals served on the 'friendly village', or special occasions when the plates were encrusted with 24 karat gold, or. . . so many memories (and too many sets of dishes; i haven't started on the tea cups yet). but my sister makes the point that others will benefit from these fine items...and so they will.

clearing my mom's home is like starting the new year; get down to the very basics. just what you need, nothing more. i realize that everyone has a different view of what 'basic needs' are, but it does give one pause to reflect. asking the grand kids what they want to have is a way of passing on the family history; stories -- some funny, others touching, and some difficult to share. but the grand kids are now adults, and life is not always protecting the innocence. truth sets us free . . . . the new year brings about basic truths, and clearing the air, and starting anew.

on a clear day . . . the truth sets us free. and what better time to be set free than the new year; to set our hearts and lives free to be about what god is calling us to be about. to enter the year unencumbered. makes me want to 'clean house' too, but i have several loads of mom's stuff that will be waiting for an estate sale; what joy! but our united methodist women do a superb service of caring for other people's that's that are not needed any longer.

last week, i received an e-mail with a quote, and i neglected to include it on my post. so it has been waiting on my desk; now well worth sharing . . . . from dietrich bonhoeffer, comes these wise words: if you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure.

awesome words; truthful words; words we can live by. may it be so into the new year . . . .

ps: some of you have commented on the difficulty of trying to make comments; i've tried to fix the problem....thanks gwen; let me know if it worked!

fortune (cookies) as we turn toward 2011

merry christmas . . . and a happy new year!

i've been so fortunate during the holidays; so blessed with good tidings of great joy. i am hoping the same for you!

i finally cleaned out my wallet from chinese food resturants during the year; i keep the fortunes i receive; mostly, because they seem to be a gift -- even when i have no idea what they mean! and i get to see how to say a word in another language. fortunes remind me of being with good people sharing a meal, enjoying conversation and sharing the joy. asian food is a gift for this season!

tradition has it that i usually greet the new year with chinese food and a movie. no clue about this year, but, there is a good chance that i'll receive another fortune!

what are you fortunate about? what sense of fortune do you get from tearing open a fortune cookie and trying to figure out its meaning?

so to help you along . . . here are my fortunes for 2010; not all, but a sampling . . .

a smile is nearly always inspired by another smile. friend: peng you

change your thoughts and you change the world. drink: liao

example is better than perception. sandwich: san ming zhi

love is as necessary to human beings as food and shelter. winter: dong tian

it is better to have beans and bacon in peace than cakes and ale in fear. {i can't wait to hear what some of you will do with this one!} vegetable: shu cai

a smile is a curve that can get a lot of things straight. foot: jiao

advancement will come with hard work. to eat: chi

courage comes through suffering. {not sure i agree; do you?} eye: yan jing

a ship in harbor is safe, but that's not why ships are built. {ah, i like that; risky!} drink: liao

i guess there was a need for me to learn 'drink' twice. wisdom comes from so many sources. i am blessed to be gifted with many friends who are very wise. thank you for making my year so complete! i look forward to 2011 with you, my true fortune. i'm so fortunate, cookie! peace. . .

all i want for christmas.....

someone asked me today what i wanted for christmas. what a question!

of course there are many 'things'; but things are just...well, 'things'.

and then, of course there are big things...an end of poverty; peace among all peoples; the opportunity for people to finish their schooling; the list is truly endless.

i have always been told that i am so hard to buy for....because i don't ask for anything.

maybe this year, what i really want is the opportunity of time. time seems so precious. the opportunity to sit with a beverage of choice (depending upon the time of day) and listen to my christmas collection of music; linger with a friend over a 'chat' we always said we'd do but haven't had time to do yet; go to a movie and dinner and actually talk about what we experience; have a philosophical discussion that changes the heart.

maybe this year is the opportunity to see the smile come to someone who has suffered loss or struggles with depression or wishes the holidays were over before they've actually come. we will do a christmas eve's eve serve -- not worship, but feeding guests from our neighborhood and food and after school program. the story of st. nicolas will be shared. offering time to others without feeling like i have a schedule to keep. smiles of the heart.

time. to look for the star. to listen for a baby's cry. to welcome those who are on a journey. to offer welcome, hospitality, a listening ear, a warm conversation, a cup of tea.

time; so precious. seems like time is the gift i'd really want this year. no exchanges. no refunds. no returns. this is my prayer, my christmas wish. time to get the world to care for one another again. without having the time and desire to care, we are lost.

it took time to move my mom to her new home; a nice assisted living community. re-arrange my schedule, pack the boxes, travel the distance through stormy skies, unpack the boxes, help the 'nesting' to begin. it took all day. but how rewarding. i didn't feel tired when i climbed into bed; rewarding was the feeling, i'd say. what could have been so emotional turned out to be just another journey of life; one that we may all make one day. time goes one; it does not wait.

we say that we have so 'little time' to do the things we'd like to do. maybe we need to stop and take the time rather than look for the time. could this be the time to take?

god comes near. time to welcome the gift of timeless hope, peace, love and joy. now is the time. now is...time.

the journey of advent

on my way to church today, i passed by a yard with stick people in the yeard. the owners had draped the figures to look like joseph escorting mary on a donkey. imagine what a little draping can do!

but it reminded me of the journey of advent in my family. sometime in the late 1960's, my family placed my sister's life-sized dolls in the front window, dressed as carolers; draping does wonders! the windows were outlined with big colored icicles, and our tree that year was one of those silver aluminum trees. my parents placed a flood light directed at the tree with a color wheel, that turned the silver tree shades of gold, red, green, and blue.

my mother spent hours placing tiny bulbs on the end of each branch -- if you'll remember, each branch ended in what looked like a flower. my parents were so proud; the only family on the block with a 'modern tree'. did i say it was the one and only year that we had such a tree; we had purchased it in a rummage sale. i wonder why someone would have given up such a tree in their sale?!

but that was also the year we had a dog, who like to bark at people in the front window...yes, the dolls fell on the flood light; to this day i am amazed we did not have a fire.

meanwhile, i put up the historical nativity scene; a painted box of bethlehem; more than a dozen plaster-of-paris figures painted brightly, although some of the paint had begun to chip off by then. a little night light hidden behind the star illuminated the scene. but you know?! once we turned out the lights, the tree and the nativity really did look like christmas.

we journey in advent; light guides our way. three candles representing hope, peace, and love have brightened this season. it isn't important if it is stick persons, aluminum trees, or nativity characters with their paint chipping off; god comes to us to brighten our lives, helping us find the way to joy.

do you have an advent memory you'd be willing to share? may this be your time to remember with thanksgiving....