too many passwords....

i had such a difficult time getting to blog today....different companies require different types of passwords, and i had to land on the correct one for this account; passwords are ok, except this account added another security word that you have to type, so that they know you are really human, and not a machine. honestly, i think you have to be a machine to figure out that word, don't you?

anyway, i really meant to share that i had the pleasure to celebrate the renewal of vows for a couple married 60 years this past week-end. they had kept their original vows, and we used them, with a slight adaptation. what a powerful affirmation to know that couples can stay married for over a year or two. 60! i'll never experience that, sadly enough. but what a powerful witness that in this day and age, it can happen!

i also had the opportunity this week to witness the opening of the new wesley center at u.c. berkeley. for those thinking about attending school there, this housing/spiritual center is directly across the street; eight suites of 12 students each, provide a safe haven for study and growth.

here in merced, we are excited to have a wesley house with six students living in an intentional community for growth and nurture in a spiritual way. how excited the wesley brothers, john and charles, would be to know that their little societies from their oxford days, have lived on and developed into intentional living communities! and we are excited to anticipate with the goto family this week, the birth of campus minister jennifer's daughter....prayers for baby girl goto!

spiritual growth is a life-long process. perhaps the complication of too many passwords could be eliminated, if all of us could use the same word...believe. i realize this defeats the security of a password, but the concept is the same. if the only password we needed was 'believe' -- even when we didn't fully understand what we believed -- at least we would be able to profess that we believe -- something!

with wesley, believing was something that came to us -- and still comes to us -- by means of grace; "prevenient grace", meaning, god is there before us, yearning for us to learn and grow, and to learn to be faithful. we can be faithful in so many ways. we can believe in so many ways. maybe the password 'believe' is our entry into saying, 'i'm not sure what i believe, but i know i have to believe something'.

be it from childhood, into our teens and young adulthood years, or far into our maturing, god's grace is there, ready and waiting for us to find our belief. even discovering jesus doesn't mean that be all believe the same way.

i'm excited to witness the merced college and u.c. merced students find their way onto their spiritual path. and it makes me hopeful to know that, while i have not been able to sustain a 60 year loving relationship with someone else (well, i am only 52!), that god has maintained a (so far) 52 year loving relationship with me. i'm still on the journey. i've learned to appreciate women and ethnic diversity in ministerial leadership; i've learned that my own white-maleness of privilege has caused hurt and oppression; i've learned to breathe in the spirit of prayer, and that i don't always have to be 'right' or 'in charge' or 'the center of attention'. maturity has its advantages!!!

so, what have you learned on your spiritual journey so far, that you would be willing to share? you never know how your journey will make an impact on someone else!

centenarians....i'll be there in 48 years!

the united methodist church in livingston (ca) celebrated their centennial this past week-end! wah-hoo! even bishop brown was there. while i was in sacramento (central), we celebrated their 150th! i graduated from high school, and we were the class of 1976 -- the 250th year of our nation. longevity is a big deal! it is a time for celebration -- and stay up-to-date.

one of my new best friends if 'the costco connection'; it comes out monthly, and i love to read about this and that; this september issue had a brief article entitled, 'be on top with pop', about pop culture and the latest trends, and results from 100 centenarians that were interviewed for this article! the secrets of longevity? laughter and prayer, along with, of course, being socially active, eating healthy, exercising, and getting enough sleep.

but they noted that 8% of the centenarians texted or instant messaged. wow! now that's up-to-date! 1/3 of those interviewed eat organic foods!

we here at the united methodist church in merced, have two centenarians; they are being cared for by their daughters, and they live at home, and they get out and about! awesome! what we could learn from them....how they have seen the world change.

change. staying current. remembering the past, and living into the future. these are things that keep us living -- plus, of course, laughter and prayer!

i invite you to take some time when we finishing reading this blog today, and reflect upon the changes that have taken place in your lifetime. having celebrated my 52nd birthday this past week, i remember learning to type on a manual typewriter, then transitioning to a portable electric, and finally keyboarding on a computer. yet, i still write, and like to receive handwritten notes, even though e-mails and texting are quick and personal too. we don't have to do just one or the other; we can celebrate the things we liked in the past, and enjoy new technology. the best of both worlds. it will keep us growing and learning, and moving; stopping and planting our feet in the ground (besides realizing that is what a two-year-old does!), doesn't get us anywhere. and isn't moving with the spirit what life is about?

here at the united methodist church of merced, we are in a world of change. and we don't know what that change will look like yet. but we are inviting everyone to share in the journey. we have developed small groups, who are reading a blueprint for discipleship by kevin watson; in it, he helps us take john wesley's ideas (the founder of methodism back in england in the 1700's), and explore them in a contemporary way. 'do no harm, do good, and practice the christian disciplines (put your faith into 'action')' are things that have worked for people growing in their faith for hundreds of years. when we stop growing, well....you know!

we know we have having to change. and believe me, i understand it is not easy, or for some, even desirable. but you know what? based on the story of creation, each new day was an adventure; something new, and it hasn't stopped yet. sure, we were encouraged to rest! but we have never been told to do the 'same old, same old'. only to step out in faith.....

so, are you envisioning yourself as a centenarian? can you believe that you can learn something new once each day? do you have the faith to practice what you've learned to make them, natural, so that you might say to yourself, "how in the world did i get along all these years without...(fill in the blank)?!"

we also had a new birth in the congregation last week. can you imagine what he'll experience in the next 100 years? Wouldn't it be great for him and for you, to have a mentor in his faith development? Or, if not mentoring him, discover who you might want to mentor. Who mentored you? How do we help each other and our world reach the years ahead?

it's not too late! spend some time learning and growing; share yourself and your wisdom and your faith with someone else. and, if you haven't done so already, send a note to someone who has mentored you, just to say thanks. and if that person is no longer living, live your life as a thanksgiving to their faith in you!

care to share a story of someone who has made an impact on your life? they don't have to be a centenarian....they could be anyone! the gift is in the sharing.....

troubling times, but not without hope

these are, indeed, troubling times; 'remembering 9/11' brings up many emotions, and responses; some responses are troubling to say the least.





for instance, what good does it due for someone to burn a holy book? book burning is useless, and undignified, and only draws more attention to the issue at hand. the qu'ran is a book that holds a belief. we may not agree with everything in it -- as the christian faith does not agree on all points in the bible, but are there insights in the qu'ran worth exploring? no doubt. does burning a written history of belief make it disappear, or heal a wound, or make one feel better? i think no! we do have the freedom not to read and become aware. perhaps we might put our energy into making that choice rather than striking a match.

much in the same way, hate groups provide no redeeming qualities. such is the case happening in madera, ca; with a group targeting the muslim people, planned parenthood, the united methodist church, the sheriffs department.... as a faith people, should not our energies be better placed in working toward justice, and serving god by eliminating oppression; focusing on health, wholeness, compassion, peace, love? i know my soul is inspired when i can participate in living kindness and hope.

perhaps, the troubling times in which we live, really are about finding hope. so let me share a couple of 'hope-filled' things.





yesterday, i was invited to a cross-country race for our four community middle-schools. this picture to the right shows the seventh grade girls about to run...the ready, set and (cover your ears) sound of the gun...they're off! running by the beautiful yosemite lake near u.c. merced....what a wonderful location for healthy competition!

and i didn't notice any attitude that would interfere with 'doing ones best'. nothing but encouragement and support. and great diversity! in these troubling times, we are not without hope!

following the races -- there were six of them, i journeyed onto the u.c. campus that is growing and expanding. one of the insights i had was that if we are going to connect with students in a relational way, we have to learn how to text! without that form of communication, we'll never be able to relate to these times.

i was blessed by the wesley club on campus, hosting the missionary and photo journalist, paul jeffery. his photos tell the story of our world that is filled with hazards and vulnerability. our invitation in these troubling times, is to become aware, respond, and yes, build hope. we cannot respond to every need, but we can be involved with one area, and become better informed and actively involved! We can become empowered to empower others; we can become relational, by helping others relate. Being aware....that conflict minerals is the new conflict diamonds in africa; that solidarity can happen by becoming involved in taking a stand, as it did in a clothing factory where environmental issues were being ignored. we could watch 'charlie wilson's war', and listen to the ending that was overlooked by others.

we can educate ourselves by diving into information about the congo, the sudan, darfur, and finding out where our clothing is being made -- and by whom....children, perhaps? and by the time those middle school age pre-teens (that were racing here in merced) reach the age of 22 in another country, they are used up, and tossed out and must find new employment....at the age of 22! i'm turning 52 this week! i must be really over the hill....but no one has ever turned me out of a job because i'm useless. i can only imagine what that is like.

in these troubling times, we cannot rely only on a soundbite from the news, or a headline from a paper. when something troubles us, we need to listen to that spirit-led urging, and begin to explore. from where does our hope come? where do you find hope?

what could god possibly be saying to you in these troubling times? how are you going to respond?

no labor on labor day, 2010

blessed week to you!

i decided to try and post once each week; i shared last week on a monday, but as yesterday was labor day, i decided not to labor....even though putting thoughts to paper isn't that much labor, i am posting today. i will try and post early in the week, for the most part....

for those in merced and in the surrounding area, i invite you to take time to see playhouse merced's production of 'joseph and the amazing technicolor dream coat'. what a fun-filled show, and exciting costumes! this last week-end, they supported the community by fund-raising for the 16 displaced families from a recent merced fire. entertainment AND community support; awesome! and, because so many people think the old testament is not worth a read....seeing this production reminds folks that this kind of living continues in our day and time. family strife, unique business planning, natural disaster, and reunification. this could be 21st century america, rather than b.c. egypt!

a reminder from sunday's sermon on what jesus meant about ... hate: hate is what we express in many ways, but for those on their journey of christian faith, hate is meant by jesus to mean an action that responds to anything that gets in our way from following jesus. the 'church phrase' we use is 'discipleship'. but for those on this journey of faith, we realize that it is difficult to always faithfully follow jesus, because....well, let's be honest, jesus can get in our way. and i believe that is what jesus knew all along. striving to live faithfully is really hard work. it is probably the hardest thing we do on a daily basis.

but i don't know what i'd do in my life if i weren't on this path....and i'm not sure i want to find out; do you? i already know those times in my life when i'm focused on myself exclusively. i forget there are others around....not such great results. do you know what i mean? (you could even share an example if you'd like!)

so, instead of working on labor day, i stopped to smell the roses. i actually sat in my little yard that i worked so hard to make a retreat center ... but never really was able to enjoy. i listened to my 'crack-ed pot' fountain, heard the sounds of neighbors and the sounds of our community, and enjoyed the flowers i planted in spring -- that have, for the most part, survived the summer heat! it was the reward i received from actually hand-watering a number of my plants throughout the summer; usually hearing myself say, 'i really need to enjoy my yard...some day!' labor day was it; listening to classical music from the house, enjoying morning coffee, lunching on a chef salad and freshly brewed iced tea -- i was even the chef! it was a wonderful morning, as the sun consumes the yard in the afternoon.

the heat came, and off to see eat-pray-love. who says there's nothing to do in merced?! if you haven't seen a movie in a while, why not see eatpraylove -- based on a book i have yet to read, but i suspect it is a good read, also! there are many great 'one liners' in that movie, with a great cast. it has been out for a while, but the theatre was full! the story revolves around a woman who needs to find her center -- kind of like trying to find yourself, only from a spiritual sense. anyway, she spends a year away -- eating, learning to meditate, and discovering love (for really the first time). one of the lines i remember is 'to get to the castle, you have to swim the moat'. profound. true. honest.

nicely put. and as i look at my life, the goals i yearned to achieve, were not accomplished without the swim. the swim can feel daunting. sometimes i'd rather just veg, honestly, thank you very much. and then that's what i feel like; a veggie that's sat; limp, drying up, and aimless. when i risk the toe-in-the-water, i feel much more accomplished -- even when i haven't reached my goal. the castle is really about the journey, isn't it? who you meet, the relationships that develop, the decisions you make and the things you do, as well as the 'you' that you discover, by the grace of god.

so my question to you is, what is preventing your swim....today? blessings.....

We 2 Could B Sunk If We Get Stuck!

Greetings one and all!

I have not done a blog entry since I returned from Europe. So thank you for those who have returned, looking, and been so encouraging....and for those just new, welcome!
I am in Aptos this week, staying in a lovely condo offered by a member in the congregation, as I attend a Board of Ordained Ministry Retreat for the RIM; working with those who are working toward Ordination in the United Methodist Church; very exciting!

As I began to blog at a local Starbucks, someone came up to me and said, 'has anyone ever said you look like Rob Rhiner?' Well, ya never can tell -- I may have been in some other lifetime, but I'll leave that for some other blog, and let Rob live his talented life.

Anyway....before the Retreat, I had an opportunity to spend some time in reflection, and in the cool delights of the California Coast....


I began to reflect upon the Autumn following a very busy Summer at the United Methodist Church of Merced. We had been reflecting on Spiritual Disciplines, and pondering the combining of our two English Speaking Worship Services. Well, one thing led to another, and we ended up not combining, but actually deciding to explore our reason for being, if you will. What does it mean to be United Methodists in Merced; who are we, what can we offer, and what will be our future?

I looked out toward Santa Cruz (Aptos is south), and in the distance was what turned out to be a cement ship....but you really couldn't tell (picture above). And I thought how much that was like what we are trying to figure out. We've been in our present location for over 50 years, so it's a good time to take a step back and see what lies infront of us. I realize that it is ok not to know -- even though that can cause anxiety. The reality is that seeing a blur -- i have to take my glasses off to take a picture even with my iphone! -- can make us interested in exploring that blur, or cause us to move on, or make us stop in our tracks.

What happens when we stop in our tracks? We get stuck, just like this cement ship. No way to move forward or backward, but stay the same. And look what happens when you stay the same! (see the ship picture above). Now, I will grant you that that "stuck-ness" has become a sanctuary for the birds. How nice for them! But, honestly, a ship was meant to move and go, and to serve those within and outside of its walls.

The Church is no different. Our building calls us to be in constant repair, or one day we may look like this cement ship! Such repair work is faithful stewardship; as leaving a faithful sanctuary is what we can offer folks now and in the future. But, I don't believe we can just simply "be". While our building causes some of our ministry to be stationary, we, as people, can move out from there, and come back on occasion for renewal and growth. Both going back and doing, and coming back and renewing are important elements of ministry.

So the anxiety part. When I turned to walk back to my car, I noticed this stairway...perhaps to heaven, but more likely simply to the top. But, from this angle, one cannot see to the top. If one can't see to the top, does one start out anyway searching for adventure? Or think it too risky even to try? Sometimes standing too closely to a situation can impair our vision for the possibility. So, in order to see more clearly, I had to move away... and ended up getting the picture below. What I would have missed by not stepping back -- I would have missed the bigger picture! Just like if I hadn't gone closer to that ship, I might have missed that insight as well. Because, honestly, I thought at first sight, that ship was actually the remains of the pier.

So, by using the Spiritual Disciplines from this summer, I was able to remind myself that ministry is an adventure, not a destination; our church ministry is about preserving AND creating, remembering and pondering the possibilities.

There were lots of people fishing on that pier as I went toward that ship. That in itself is a wonderful concept, isn't it? Creativity involves the reality that God, not we ourselves, is the one who nudges us to be about the doing. And the doing comes in many shapes and sizes; praying, learning, seeing, listening, trying, failing, succeeding, moving out and doing, and resting as well.

As the Autumn begins, we at the United Methodist Church in Merced will be about all of that, and more! We're inviting people to participate in Small Groups, and we challenge one another to be witnesses of God's Spirit in this day and in the many days to come. We're about being the hands and feet, the ears and eyes, the voice of the living Christ; we are called to remember that Jesus is in our midst. How much more fun can we have than that?!

And, by the way, this is the reward I received when I looked another way....who knew flowers could grow in the sand? But they do, which reminds me that even with shifting sand, roots can grow deeply. We're not sunk yet. We might not even be stuck yet; only a little anxious, because we can't see clearly what lies ahead, because it might be a blur, or out of sight.

But if we trust, God and one another, imagine the possibilities!

What say you?

ooh la la -- may in paris, versailles, england and merced

ok, so there is a story about this picture, but you'll have to read it at the end of this posting....

by now i am home, but the memories of this past week-end linger. this first trip to europe was wonderful! i can't even begin to share, and certainly my pictures do not do justice.

but, of course, trips are about experiences, and the pictures bring those memories back, no matter the focus (or lack-there-of).

when in paris...eat at a cafe for hours...stay up until the sun goes down at 10pm, and then walk down the seine to the eiffel tower.

watch the sun set, and walk around the neighborhoods ... all 20 of them, but not at the same time.

you can't possibly go anywhere in paris without seeing a fountain or a church. this catholic country celebrates its religious holidays. i was here during the pentecost week-end -- and the french take monday off to celebrate! sundays are days not to work, so other than tourist shops, most of paris is closed except, of course, for the cafes. but no shopping; spend time in the parks, the fountains...or take a trip to the louvre...you could spend your entire life in the louvre; like the ever-ready-battery (i went through 8, taking 1879 pictures) the artwork just keeps going and going.

so take a picture or hundreds on the trip. experience notre-dame (more about that later), and take pictures with people in them because you'll never get the 'perfect picture' without people! public transportation is wonderful, and walking is not to be beat!

and, of course, art is everywhere.

so then take a trip to the 'gold capital'; the estate of versailles. louis the 13th and 14th loved grand; maybe the 17th century was the time; i'm not sure. but what i do know is that the stone steps that you take from place to place are 'impressed' by the people who have traveled the paths before you.

did i mention the gold? or the vastness? the fountains are turned on for special occasions ... i guess i wasn't enough of an occasion, but that's ok. use your imagination, and listen for the music that are in the gardens.

a couple from new york brought a picnic lunch to celebrate a birthday in the gardens. marie-antoinette would have been so upset to know that they were actually eating cake in her gardens....

unless you've been there, you just can't imagine that the gardens go beyond where the eyes can see.

but i thought of our prayer team while i was there, because walking is a spiritual experience, i really believe! actually, one strolls in europe; no one seems to be in a rush, unless, of course, you are on the tube or the underground or the metro or the train ... then it is just like any other city ... MOVE! but here in versailles, take your time.

then go to celebrate notre-dame to celebrate pentecost in french; i told shinya, who drove me home from the fresno airport, that the experience of mass was like being a peasant during the middle ages, when only the 'rich and learned' got seats, and the 'other of us' stood to listen on the edge -- but when the bells rang, the bread and the wine turned into christ -- and they knew! the music, the languages, the choirs, the experience made pentecost a truly holy experience for me.


so, at night, people still gather ... i wonder if we can experience that in merced...

so i found something red in paris to wear on pentecost, on this wonderfully beautiful sunny and warm day. just to let you know, i had only a half-day of rain in london, but flew home to rain...what's up with that, not that i'm complaining to remember my baptism....

so after a life-changing worship, why not take the nearly 500 (omygod!) steps up to see what paris looks like from god's point of view...and this is what i saw.

what an experience...

so what does one do after worship? stroll the 'mall' that leads to arc de triomphe. this is a special week-end, and the walk is covered with flowers, plants and trees; a beautiful display that was put together overnight -- so hard to believe -- and on monday, the community is invited to come and take something home ... trees, flowering plants, greens, vegies. what an experience.






so, i didn't walk up either of the 'must sees', but simply to stand in their presence is an experience! just don't try to walk across this round-about.

sunday in paris; popular wedding days. so why not take pictures in your wedding dress around pieces of art. don't mind the crowds; they love happy times....

this is the oldest cafe in paris. it resides on the second floor -- or what we would call the second floor. it is actually on the first floor, because the ground floor is actually counted as it's own floor. just a piece of trivia for you...

the train trip back on the euro-star riding the chunnel was a nice way to go. so relaxing, and i had a section to myself -- so i put my aching feet up; grand! tea time, again; and they bring the food to you on the train!

time is drawing to a close -- o no! so take a trip to the places i haven't been yet ... head to the national gallery for the latest art piece; this piece has actually been shared this week-end in trafalgar square; everyone gathers there.

the picture that you saw at the top of this post, was actually placed here, originally, but, somehow, it moved to the top. if that is the worst experience i had on my trip -- i.e. my pictures moving around -- then i feel fortunate. i had very little trouble on my travels. thank you for your prayers, your care and support, and the gift of god that allowed this opportunity for me....

so, what does one do on the last night in london? well, go to a pub -- but not just any pub -- dine with sherlock holmes! walk the streets again to soak up the beautiful weather; stroll the thames, and then take in a show. i could have gone to one of at least two dozen shows -- including mouse trap, the london legend that has been playing there for 58 years! -- but i chose to go to see billy elliot, a wonderfully energy-filled 3 hour show, filled with wonderfully talented children! the story takes place during the coal-miners strikes of england, and traces the experience of a young boy who is encouraged to make more of his life than living in a dying mining town. he ends up going to the national ballet school. heartwarming, and a wonderfully moving conclusion to a wonderfully moving trip. i think john wesley would have been someone who encouraged billy to listen to that still quiet voice of god.

we all need to be listening to that quiet and sometimes not quiet voice of god. as jesus would say, go and do likewise. so plan a trip...experience the world -- wesley's parish -- and be kind to one another. make a difference; this will make all the difference in the world....merci; cheers! thanks for sharing in this blog. i hope you've enjoyed it. i certainly have....

just to let you know i made it safely to paris! all is fine! i should have studied harder, barbara, but you tutoring was wonderful! thank you! pictures another time. promise. blessings, pj