back to blogging . . . let the healing waters flow . . . .

ah, to blog again!  it has been a couple of months, or nearly, and ash wednesday has just come and gone; i actually started this post yesterday but got interrupted....a longer story to tell!

so what's been happening?  diana butler bass came to visit santa cruz, sponsored by the progressive christian forum for which i am a member.  a group from the congregation did a book study on her book, 'christianity after religion; the end of church and the birth of a new spiritual awakening'.  we're setting up a 'post diana' group at the church.

the wall posts (pictured) reflects the thoughts of some 225 people who gathered for the diana's workshop.  being able to see the changing tides of religious beliefs and spiritual unfolding is a helpful process ... and colorful too, don't you think?!

and we have had such an odd winter in santa cruz ... and in california in general.  dry.  we're putting water restrictions into place.  our congregation even began to plan the whole season of lent around the subject of water; to cherish this life-giving substance; to care for our earth; to remember water as part of our baptism and to be thankful.

then just as february nearly ended, the heavens began to open up with this life-sustaining wetness we call rain.  so far, we are not out of the drought danger, but we are seeing some good results.

on one of the breaks from the few storms we did have, i took a walk on west cliff, heading to natural bridges where we will have our easter vigil and sunrise service.  and this is one of the views from that walk.  renewing; refreshing; life-sustaining.  no surfers in this part of the ocean, but enjoyable none-the-less! 

the ebb and flow of the waters of life renew us and remind us of the blessings of life.  i invite you to take some time during this season to ponder your place in your spiritual journey, and to find renewing times each and every day.  as you are renewed, so you will face the situations of life in a better space.  you'll make better decisions when your life is calm.

one of the benefits (ok, the challenges too!) of being a pastor is that we get to be a part of everything!!!  the congregation here in santa cruz is very accommodating, and while i don't feel i have to be at everything, i also hate to miss out -- it's just who i am. 

on tuesday mornings to have an upper room study at the abby -- a local church building opened up a coffee house, and we are several groups that show up to check-in, chat, and fellowship together; this is a great environment for spiritual growth.  and they don't mind that we pray!  we've been averaging about 9 on a tuesday morning at 8; and you don't have to come prepared ... just open for the possibilities!  this is a rich opportunity; so come join us!  we can always add another chair!

and so we come to the beginning of lent.  ash wednesday is the beginning of this 40 day (more or less) journey with jesus.  this is the opportunity we have to explore deeply our relationship with god and one another.  lent is an intentional time to find our grounding as a christian.  and as we ready ourselves for new life that will come on easter, we take on a deeper commitment to be what god calls us to be -- if we are willing!

the image we will use this season will be water, and we will hear this image each time we worship.  we will be surrounded by empowering words to wash us and empower us from the battery of words that are thrown at us in our daily lives; nurturing words such as silence, hunger, open, repent, reconcile, mercy and love.

a cross of candles will light our way; the light of Jesus, the two thieves crucified on either side of Jesus, peter james and john, and even a candle representing judas -- all these personalities flow through us during this lenten season; we can come to understanding of what it means to be wrongly accused, crucified for what we believe, learning to grow deeper in faith but still not comprehending fully, and even to betray and wish we could take that moment back.  lent invites us to understand more fully.

so take take to be washed and nourished by renewing waters.  be open to the possibilities.  let the healing waters flow . . . . 

not just a regular day . . . .

 this is not a regular winter; nor is it a regular day.

i was listening to the radio on my way to the office this morning when a song came on the radio ... the chorus of which is ' . . . dance with my father again . . .'. 

it is a song sung by a son, remembering his father and how he use to dance with his mother and he as a child; he is now singing about how sad his mother is, now that his father is dead, and he wants so much just to be able to have his mom dance with his father again, hoping to cheer her; a wish and a prayer.

so, i'm singing along, the romantic in me, when it dawns on me that it would have been my father's 87th birthday today; i am the same age he was when he died.  how ironic is that . . . .

we never do know what time is allotted to us or our  loved ones.

and i am constantly reminded here in santa cruz, to get out and enjoy; get away from my computer and take in the area.

this is one of the most beautiful places on earth, and even though we are seriously talking about water restrictions -- having had only 5 inches of our 30 inches of rain this year -- one cannot help but enjoy wearing short-sleeve shirts in the heart of winter . . .
 

 i mean, honestly, for a community that is supposed to be rainy, foggy, and dreary at this time of the year, irony has dawned upon us; no water, but the ocean! 

and so, here it is:  a little redwood, a surfer, and a wee ship, anchored by the dock of the bay.  santa cruz at it's best in the midst of the worst possible times . . . what more can one do but make the best of it?!

and so, i leave the office after a text message that delights me to know that i will not have to search the parsonage for my opera glasses -- because one does not need to have magnification in order to see one of the other wonders of the world right here in 'my own back yard'!

and really, why travel anywhere else when you can see such wonders as this?!

 ok, seeing a HUGE bumble bee atop a blooming flowing of ice plant might not constitute one of the wonders of the world ... but my being able to take a picture of said bumble bee without getting stung, is!

my elementary school in daly city, thomas edison, was surrounded by ice plant.  we just took it for granted; we climbed on it, tore away patches of it to fling at each other when we were team fighting at recess ... kids stuff.  now i appreciate it, and fathom its ability to hold water and produce such a delicate flower without much rain!

just beyond the shores of west cliff, these reminders of my childhood have followed me into my adulthood; i never could have imagined!

 and yet, another real wonder of this community is that we host a migration area for monarch butterflies.  with the buzzing on the ground, one need only look up into the trees to see a host of hundreds of orange and black fluttering in the trees ... a christmas tree light display could not possibly do it justice!

this particular butterfly was a little out of the migration path ... i had thought, 'wouldn't it be great to get a picture up close and personal?!' ... for the migration area is roped off to keep people like me away from disturbing their rest and relaxation.

but, there always seems to be a non-conformist in the pack, and tuesday was my lucky day!  off by itself, this butterfly found a bit of sun on a tree, just eye level from me as i was walking back to my car ... did i say that i had my convertible top down in the mid-(not so) bleak winter?!

and so, i added additional steps to my pedometer this week, and renewal to my soul.  and i wonder today, about my dad ... might we have enjoyed a bet of a 'get-away' together on tuesday; to enjoy the sights and the unusual weather, even while we would have said, 'even though we need the rain'.

alas, one never knows how much time we have, so we are called upon to enjoy every minute of every moment, and learn to embrace what we are given -- even on this not just a regular day . . . . 

'tis the season . . . .

i've been remiss in not blogging . . . .  so, 'tis the season, so we say!  why not, on friday the 13th; as good a day as any!

i'm basically settled in santa cruz; after all, it has been nearly six months, and all the boxes are neatly stacked away, so it was time to decorate for christmas.  i haven't put up a tree since my first year in merced; the santa cruz parsonage has the absolute perfect picture window for a tree, so, i'm happy to report that all my christmas items arrived without any issue!

you'll note, however, that that 'white stuff' on the roof is NOT snow; we've had a cold spell here; down to 26 on a couple of mornings i've gone out walking.  and yet the days have been sunny and warming into the 60's; we may even hit the 70's!

one of the realizations when you reach 55 is that you are considered a 'senior'; i can purchase a weekly sack of food from the gray bears for $25 a year -- i haven't yet -- and i can get into holiday concerts at a discount -- my first discounted concert is tonight!

the other realization at 55 is that there are lots of  memories connected with the holidays.  on the stereo in this picture to the left is my childhood pinocchio; i also have a little stuffed santa that is my age!  so christmas is filled with many emotions, and if i can adapt on of the christmas jingles, i believe it is good to 'let them flow, let them flow, let them flow....'

our focus this year at the united methodist church of santa cruz is 'light'.  our tree has more lights than usual, i believe, because i was the 'stringer of the lights' and i like lots of lights on a tree -- i suspect you couldn't tell!  the ornaments are old-time candles, and people were invited to write their christmas prayer, their hopes and dreams for the season, before placing them on the tree.

so we keep exploring the concept of light this advent season as we prepare for thee light to brighten our world on christmas.  it is my hope that your hopes and dreams of all the year may be met on that christmas night.  we certainly invite you to join us on christmas eve as we light the way of peace this year; our service of carols and light begins at 7 pm.  invite someone to share the light of jesus this year on christmas, and keep that glow, going, throughout the new year!


and, of course, it wouldn't be a trip down memory lane if i didn't share a picture of the boardwalk ... when i visited santa cruz in my youth, it was a day trip; i had no idea there was an actual town here!  we'd fly down 'blood alley' (highway 17 as we called it back then) and come onto ocean street and be directed to the parking lot.  when we heard about the earthquake in '89, and the downtown being hit hard, it was confusing, as we had no idea there was a 'downtown'. 

santa cruz is more than the boardwalk; it is now, for me, community!  light has dawned in the years since my youth, and i've grown to appreciate the depth and breath of this community.  yes, the beach-boardwalk has matured, and the community is more than simply ocean street heading to the big parking lot.

so come to the beach at the oddest time of the year; see the light of christmas shine forth this year, with your hopes and dreams; let the light of a stirring sunrise enliven your passion for working toward peace and justice in the year(s) ahead.  and let the light of jesus shine in and through you.  the world is longing for that light; the world is longing for the jesus in you to meet the jesus in them.

imagine a silent night ... a holy night ... where all is calm ... where all is bright.  may this be the year when the light truly shines and is never diminished! 

merry and happy . . . .

"and then it was ... done ...."

october first has arrived, and with it, some news....

let me begin from sunday.  the autumn, in the life of a united methodist church pastor, revolves around stewardship and annual meetings, not to mention planning for advent and christmas!

part of that planning time involves other people; this year being in a new church setting, i gathered our nominating team, and we gathered to have conversation and a meal together.  yes! chinese food!  and following a good meal, there is the 'sharing of fortune'.

in the 'worth keeping' category, came this fortune:  "all personal breakthroughs begin with a change in beliefs".

spend some times with that thought ... what are some personal issues that you have struggled with in your lifetime that changed when you looked at the issue from another perspective?  how did that happen?  did you talk it over with someone; did you simply give yourself time to think about the issue differently?  did you experience something that made you think about that issue, differently?  did the situation change suddenly?

from my own experience, i have found that focusing on an issue intently often brings me to a block.  when i feel blocked, i then know it is time for me to let it rest for awhile.  this still holds true for me:  when i was growing up, often i would hit a wall and not be able to figure out a solution, and so i'd just go to bed!  for many, struggling with an issue led to sleep-less-ness!  not for me; when something weighs heavily on my mind, i sleep better than ever, and in the morning, most often, i'd wake up refreshed and with "thee" answer!

sometimes a change in beliefs means simply that i have to change/adjust/adapt MY beliefs.  we often hold our thought process as optimal, when, in reality, they are often only one option.  so, it 'fortune' came to me at a 'fortunate' time.

and here's why!  on monday, october first, my lovely home in merced closed in a short sale; it was recorded, and a couple who fell in love with it, is moving in.  i've had so many thoughts and emotions about the situation and the reality that led me to not only purchase the house, but have to leave it.

since moving from merced to santa cruz, and getting back into 'parsonage living' once again, i've grieved and wrestled with what it means to 'let go' -- especially letting go of things we cannot be in control of any longer.  while some may say, 'there's a plan about this', i can't imagine anyone intentionally planning to have to lose their home.

but having another couple move in, while at one time may have angered me, actually thrills me, for that house has been sitting vacant for three months.  now it will be filled with new sights and sounds; laughter and tears.  and i am released to the ties to something that is no longer and cannot any longer be mine.  it has been a drain these last few months, financially and energy-wise.  and today, while i am no longer a home-owner, i am released to move forward; freed to live into a new adventure, unencumbered.

an emotional burden is lifted, and i feel lighter; these three months, like the fortune cookie said, was somewhat of a drain.  but today, i've had a personal breakthrough.  i am able to begin anew.  i've slept the best i have in weeks, last night.  an unfortunate incidence has been completed; i've been dealing with it (as have a number of others) ... and then it was ... done.  a new opportunity has begun.

what lies ahead .........

a day (off) in the life of . . . .

a day off; nothing special, except, it WAS special; it prepared me for today . . . .

i got up and attended to house chores; the front- and back-yards needed tending; followed by laundry, cleaning, soup-making; filing and reconciling . . . does this sound familiar?  it isn't my regular day-off pattern; i try to do something renewing, and chores are not at the top of my list -- imagine!

and yet, i found myself somehow comforted in the 'doing'; so much so that by 3:30, i was so ready to be done with my chores and headed off for a renewing walk on west cliff dr.

what i saw:  they are repairing the walkway down to the beach (repairs reminded me too much of  my life at church, and so i walked on! -- but not before i noticed the insignia placed on the side of the stairwell -- the word 'open' over a mosaic red heart; ok, it made me think of my life at church again, but in a different way;  ok, so i'm always thinking about my church life; the difference between my life as a pastor and my life as a person is difficult to turn off, but maybe that's the 'god thing' in me; i'm never far away from who i am meant to be!  and that's not a negative in my estimation!)

what i saw:  a number of people walking the way; biking, running, walking, skating; dogs, a bird (how DOES one walk a bird?!) leisurely, driven, communal; this was a beautiful monday to be out and about!  and still, what i came across was a memory.
having grown up in daly city, i seemed to always be surrounded by ice plants, yet i rarely saw them in bloom.  my elementary school, thomas edison (now combined with the twin school next door to form a middle/junior high school) was surrounded by an ice plant hill.  perhaps we had too much fog, and not enough sun for the plants to bloom, but here in santa cruz, blossoms galore!  big, pale yellow blossoms, mostly.
there is nothing like a day which allows one to remember and reflect.  while i would not like to re-live even one of my childhood days (unlike emily in thornton wilder's our town ) my memories yesterday focused on some of those happy times; is there at least one happy memory from your past that made all the difference in the world?!

and i experienced more than a sense of renewal as i awoke this morning.  and then, following my small group encounter, i got a call from someone that shared a poem from mary oliver, entitled the summer day for which, here in santa cruz, we are experiencing today!  i found that poem on garrison keillor's 'the writer's almanac' website.  might this reflect such a day as this?  it reads,

Who made the world?   Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?   This grasshopper, I mean—
the one who has flung herself out of the grass, the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down—
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down into the grass, 

how to kneel down in the grass, how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

and life is very good . . . .

it began as a day like no other; the birth of a new day, perhaps like my birth 55 years ago, although i suspect my mom wouldn't feel that way!

and so i begin this reflection on the day before; i suspect when the labor began, but i cannot guarantee that information at the moment, was only a memory when the labor pains ceased.

and so last night i took my time to return home by way of west cliff; just beyond swift, where i usually stop to watch, to read, and to walk.  ironically, the parking spaces were full, as the whales (and their watchers) were out in abundance.

as sunset began, the moon shone as a glimmer on the ocean; the reflection of light and life; the beginning and the ending can be seen in this moment of the day . . . .

and so, as you move clockwise on that shoreline, you come to another part of the sky, between the rising moon and the setting sun . . . .

in-between those two lights, the sky is filled with birds . . . not to be confused with 'for the birds', but the unmistakable movement of various bird clusters as they come and go and return.

of course, the most active flight of the birds is the pelican, in constant search of food; the reward of that unrelenting search.  but these birds in flight to your left are not pelicans, but remain in formation; they move to and fro over the waters between the greater and the lesser light.

unlike our perception that the pacific always points us west, you will note that the rising of the moon and the setting of the sun in the next picture leaves santa cruz facing north/south, not east/west.
and so we turn our sights closer to this day; the setting sun.
 

the wave forms, giving this part of the cliff much more interesting views.  imagine living on the cliff where you could see the rising and the setting of life every day.  the sound of the birds as they communicate to one another.  the ebb and the flow of the water; the sound of the crash against the shore; the renewing of each moment with the freshness of that new moment, filled with possibilities.

when i awoke this morning and walked and readied myself for this celebration of 55 years, i had no idea that my anticipation of the day ahead would be overtaken by the breaking of my car door-locks; over and over again as i tried to enter my car, the alarm would sound and the door locks malfunction.  when aaa arrived some three hours later, last night's sunset was a memory, and my focus became how to attend to my day, now so muddled.

each moment begins with a new possibility of light!  after a time of labor, my 56th year begins, and my experience began with a gift -- the virtues of being in a small group remind me i was prepared for even before i got started this morning; someone shared about the light of this 'birth'day with my group; and so my group at 'the abbey' became a new kind of light for me:  a cupcake from 'the buttery', with a card which read, "you're not really old till you pick up the remote control  . . . hold it to your ear and wait for a dial tone."

and so it goes . . . my car is in the shop; i am at home attending to my day, i have been wished well by many people far and wide; the light is bright overhead; i am grateful to be here, and life -- with all it's complications -- is very good.
 

wedding surf in big sur

changes on the coast, like changes in our lives, happen suddenly and in an instant.

we never known when we might discover the best possible moment; a photo, a chance meeting, an unexpected opportunity ... are we prepared, are we ready, are we willing . . . .

this week-end i experienced a wedding in big sur, an area of california i hadn't really explored before.  i didn't exactly get lost, but i never found the wedding rehearsal or the dinner.  but the coast was a picture!

the fog began to roll in, as it does on the coast; feeling at a loss for directions, a managed to make my way back and forth and back and forth; ever feel like that?!  you get just to the edge, and suddenly, you are just not quite there.

fortunately, that was friday, and the wedding wasn't until saturday at 5.  what is a pastor to do?  pack it in for the day, and start over again in the morning?  you bet 'cha!  so that's what i did.

but never pass up the opportunity to find the light in the haze or the movement of the ebb and flow of life.

in the midst of the rocks is an answer to the where and the why.  if we do not stop to contemplate, then we may never know the true extent of the mystery.  take that extra moment, and be open to the possibilities, even when plans don't go as, well . . . planned!

saturday arrived in big sur, and no matter what, i was going to find the location of that wedding!  with all our gps systems in place, one reality rings true on the coast of big sur . . . . the words "no service" are seen a lot!  so the best way to go is the old fashioned way ... get an address!

OH!  there it is; i'd passed this spot several times on my adventure; do you ever do that?!  and then suddenly, as if out of a fog, there it is; the beauty and elegance of "the right place".

and this wedding location, like the couple themselves, was 'the perfect combination of beauty and elegance; simple and down to earth, and nothing could be better!  by 12:30,  i knew where i was to be by five; and i made it there in plenty of time; to prove it, i captured the sun as it reflected on the surf.  like a mirror disturbed only by the whale spouting some water, and the ripples of the tide.

nearby the 'wind and sea', was the perfect place to wait out until 3:30.

and so i read; i am on the second mystery by barbara corrado pope, entitled the blood of lorraine. i have my new library card, and i'm using it!  pope's mysteries take place in france, and this one deals with anti-semitism; the main character is the magistrate bernard martin.  the first book in the series was cezanne's quarry, and it is easy to get 'hooked'; in this way i get to be an 'armchair adventurer.  reading on the coast was ideal!

following the wedding, as the dancing was just about to begin, i left, leaving the women to change into flip-flops for the occasion; dancing in high-heals my be fashionable, but not on gravel!  and so highway 1 beacon-ed to me.  as i left the sun of big sur, i watched as the fog rolled in over the surf once again, but this time, engulfing the industrial works that sat atop a land-mass.

i thought of kellie and tom as they began their new life together; how we never know what might come in our path; and chances are, that path will change hundreds of times over the course of their developing relationship.

and yet, they have the journey ahead of them before the sunset.

the adventure is just beginning in a relationship filled with possibilities.  the light shines, and the night has yet to consume it!