not such a normal day, but a day in the life . . . .

this is not such a normal day, "this" being september 11th, or 9-11, as we will forever remember its significance.  tragedy always has a way of making its mark in our lives, much like the mark left 30 years ago this year when my father died of a massive heart attack on the day before i was to return home for vacation from graduate school; today we remember the events of 11 years ago.  even as i sit at my keyboard, the hairs on my arms are standing up.  eerie, impossible; unbelievable.  still we grieve, and still we struggle to come to terms with how to treat one another in peaceable ways.

as i clicked onto my search engine this morning (i use 'bing' here at the office), that beautiful memorial greeted me; ground zero; that now sacred space, with the flowing water that leaves us reflective of what happened on that day, and what has happened since.  i am renewed by water falls and reflective pools -- water in general, and so this is a very meaningful memorial for me, even though i wish it were unnecessary.

i reflect today about the presence of the spiritual presence that was a part of this event in our history; the chapel of old st. paul reflected in the children's storybook, the little chapel that stood by a.b.curtiss.  a chapel of historical presence where the spirits of george washington and alexander hamilton and others through the ages remain; where new york city grew around; this chapel remaining as a place where sanctuary could be found . . . .a place of grace.

this was not what i was thinking of last night as i went to bed, as i put aside the novel i was reading before i turned out the lights, as i remembered the power music and the moving set of the met's production of wagner's ring cycle now available to be seen by the world.  and this was not what i was thinking of a few minutes after 11 as my neighbor's family decided to have a late evening crisis in their backyard, joined by the neighborhood dogs.  nor was this what i was thinking about at well after two-in-the-morning, when i discovered that i had been joined in bed by well over a dozen-and-a-half of ants that came from somewhere, i'm still just not sure where!

it wasn't until i was reminded of this day that i remembered the significance of this day . . . . not that i would intentionally forget, or even be able to forget.  it just took the collective remembering of a nation and a world that continues to experience the tragedy of struggle.  we can't seem to get away from our own inability to get along.  nor can we get away from the care and kindness of people who respond with their generous hearts, for which i am grateful  on this not such a normal day, but a day in the life . . . .

hostility . . . hospitality . . . hope

from hostility . . . to hospitality . . . to hope

central valley fruits and vegetables are displayed in the picture below;

lovely baskets full of produce that became a love token of peace last wednesday as the central valley curcuit leaders joined our district superintendent mariellen yoshino to livingston to visit and pray with leaders from two gurdwaras (sikh temples).

such gentle offerings; humble from the fruit of our vines from the bakersfield area up through the foothills and all the way to galt and over to the stockton delta area.

we were received with humble thanksgiving, as we offered these tokens and prayers for an ending of all hostility, racism, religious persecution, as well as renewed understanding and education.

you may recall that on sunday, august 5th, the gurdwara in oak creek wisconsin came under gunfire, killing 6, plus the gunman; leaving one in a coma, and countless others traumatized.  throughout the world, people wondered how this could happen.

the sikh faithful stand for justice; there is an estimate of 500,000 sikhs in north america.  hate crimes have been on the rise since 911 -- americans often confusing the turban head coverings worn by the men to be followers of osama bin laden.

in reality the sikhism began in india in 1469, unrelated to hinduism or islam, teaching that there is one god with many paths to the divine; each of the 10 founding gurus  (doers of the master), wore turbans as a sign of respect for the divine.  the sikh faith began as a rebellion against india's caste system, and a profession for the equality of people.  as you enter their holy place, you cover your head as a sign of humility, and take off your shoes. 

no one is an enemy, and no one is a stranger.  and so to show support for our sikh sisters and brothers, the circuit leaders went to be in prayer and solidarity with the sikh leaders, sharing our collective presence of united methodism in the valley, and uniting with them against all hostility and praying for hope for our future.

we were offered such hospitality!  we prayed together in our prospective languages, men and women together, which is unusual in this faith culture, but also a sign of the oneness of god.

and perhaps the most amazing similarity was, following our time of prayer and conversation, we were escorted over to the fellowship hall where we were invited into a time of refreshment!  isn't it comforting to know that spiritual refreshment is part of the world's religious traditions?!

i do not know enough about this faithful tradition, but i invite you to join with me in study and prayer as we seek to move from all religious persecution and hostility into open dialogue, offering one another hospitality and the hope that one day, soon, we will live with 'no fear'.

cr 2032 ... a lesson in humility

cr 2032 .... a lesson in humility, came on sunday.  as has been my custom for the last six months, i rose early to get in my walk before worship.  if i don't walk when i first awaken, i rarely seem to fit it in later on...for a variety of reasons (i could elaborate on that, but, use your imagination, or your own excuses!)

so, i did my usual walk, and low and behold, when i took off my pedometer, i had a total of 166 steps!  when i looked during my walk, i was around 9,000 .... who stole my steps?!

when i arrived for worship, i plugged in my pedometer to upload my information, and i had only gleaned 20 heart miles.  all that effort, i thought.  i was a little miffed, to say the least.  i had been doing so well!  i'd reached gold on friday, earning my olympic badge; i'd been faithful to my walking shoes, daily!  what happened???

alas, i was determined.  so, out i walked during the early evening on sunday; a beautiful valley evening; i even went a different route -- deterined to secure more steps.  i checked my count during the walk -- can you see i've become a little obsessive? -- and i was at about 4500 ... yea!  it was working again!  and when i checked a bit later i was at ... about 4500 steps!  what's wrong with this picture???

i returned home, and, alas, i was at about 4500 steps!  i guess i need a new pedometer, like folks had been saying...(this had happened once before, but somehow it righted itself).  so, i'm sitting in my den, out of sorts, when i turned over my pedometer, revealing a 'trap door'...now i know what to do with that jar of pennies!  so i opened it up, and there it was...a round little silver disk, with the writing "cr 2032" on it.  i needed a new battery!!!!

off to target, and for less than $6, i was up and running again...well, at least my pedometer was!  all i needed was a new battery; energy, to be empowered again.  did i feel foolish, or what?!  all that wasted time and emotion, when all i needed was a new battery.  this was a lesson in humility!

i think i'd gotten a little off track; maybe even forgetting the main focus of this 'exercise' -- for my health!  getting a little frustrated, and even saying to myself -- "i even walked twice today!" was a reminder that i had lost my focus.  even when we do something for the greater good, we can loose our focus.

how humbling.  so, i'm back on track again.  and yesterday, i investigated a whole different route!  life isn't always about the destination; it's the journey, and the opportunity we take to appreciate the route.  how often we can get distracted even when we stay focused.  but how easily comes the distraction when we are not paying attention.

barbara brown taylor, an episopal priest, wrote in her book, an altar in the world; a geography of faith --a book we are reading in our centering prayer small group:  "you are truly, seriously lost, even though you know exactly where you are (p.76)".  that quote comes from a chapter entitled 'the practice of getting lost'.  i had stayed so focused on my course, my goal, my way, that i had stopped paying attention and gotten 'lost'.  i knew where i was, i just had become task oriented.  get the job done.  i had stopped having the spiritual experience of 'getting lost'.  i'd become too up-tight achieving my goal.

so, i've gotten my new battery; and i think i'm in syn again.  now, if i can just remember the value of this humble lesson again in about six months when, i'm sure, i might need this lesson once again.  no doubt by then, my battery will need replacing once again...and that will be a good thing.  that's why i entitled this blog post as i did  -- i know i'll need to be reminded!  being humbled really isn't such a bad thing . . . .

silence of the walk . . . .

as i stepped out of the house this morning, i stepped into 'the silence of the walk'!  very spooky!

merced, and the central valley, is in the midst of 'having a heat wave'...but honestly, it's nothing to sing about!  this morning, now that it is getting lighter, earlier, my alarm went off -- how alarming -- as as i turned over to turn it off -- read that as trying to fling it out the window, or provide it with all therapy -- i honestly did contemplate going back to sleep; it hadn't been that long since i actually had GOTTEN to sleep; this heat makes me a bit, shall we say, moody?!

but, like the (non) olympiad that i am, i do like a good challenge, and since i have walked vigorously for 180 days, i didn't want to break my record!  so, crawling out of bed...literally, i closed up the house and away i went.  what i noticed was the silence...not a bird, not a dog, not a sound in the breaking dawn of the day.  and it was so still, not a lief was stirring.  honestly, it was all a bit creepy.  and the sky was patchy with clouds, and the moon was just this sliver of a smile, like the cheshire cat from alice in wonderland.

and, i didn't see a soul for the longest time, and when i finally did see someone, it wasn't someone i'd ever met on my route.  all in all, a strange day.

however, i've always said that there is something 'godly' in every experience; something to pay attention to; to take note of; to learn.  and this is what i gleaned on my 'silence of the walk . . . .'

today begins the 'olympic champion challenge' for my health miles program...who knew?  not i!  for the next 14 days, i could win a bronze, a silver, or even a gold medal!  oh, ok, it's just a badge on my computer program, but even so....all i have to do is walk -- 70,000 steps for a bronze, 100,000 for a silver, or 170,000 for the gold.  why not go for the gold, me thinks!

see how the spirit works...had i gone back to sleep, i would not have experienced something new in my life, and i would have been 'a step behind', so to speak in this olympic challenge.  so far today, i've walked 10,587 steps...i only need to average 12,143 steps a day to reach the gold!

so, my challenge to you, avid blog readers, is to get yourself a pedometer, and see how far you can step in a day; be challenged, even in the heat of the summer, to put that 'spring in your step' (even if it IS summer), and become aware of the change that will come about in you...your attitude, your eating habits, your clothing fit, and, of course, your mood.  make the effort.  explore something new every day, and then ask yourself, 'what is/was god trying to have me learn from this new experience'. 

not such a difficult challenge is it?  besides, reaching for the gold in this day and age, isn't such a bad idea either . . . .

it's august already! what happened to july?

 'it has been quite a summer at lake yosemite . . . .'  what an appropriate rewording from public radio!  it's august already, and i haven't done a blog since sometime in july.  i have great excuses!  honest...even better than 'my dog ate my homework' -- i have no dog, so that wouldn't work anyway!  i could say my computer was acting up, but that wouldn't be honest either.

the fact is, i returned hitting the pavement running; a colonoscopy one week (dare i say, "all clear!"), and two memorial services the next...every time i thought about my blog ... i just kept right on thinking!co

so today, now that i've caught you up on the last two weeks, i'll share about san diego and my western jurisdictional conference trip.  on my way south, i stopped at mission san juan capistrono, where the sparrows come to nest each year in march.  it was established in 1776 (ring a bell?) and the chapel was completed in 1782 and is still in use today.  the mission church was completed and then experienced demolition due to the earthquake during worship in 1812, and was never rebuilt; the picture shows a remaining wall with its bells that were also used to signal many events in the community, including deaths; there were different ring-tones for men and women.
 

part of my interest in attending the conference was to attend a tour and learn about the federal border that has been constructed between the united states and mexico.  the picture to the left shows the two walls that separate our countries, and the families, friends, and workers who are a part of our economic livelihood.  we could not possibly function without our sisters and brothers to the south.  and yet, we have been unable to figure out a way for our countries to figure out how to solve this crisis. 

originally, our border was estimated on a map (a map-line, if you will).  a physical set of carin's appeared periodically throughout this area that included texas, arizona and california.  a barbed wire 'fence' came next, whe on this site near the ocean (next picture), first lady patricia nixon and the president's wife of mexico met and exchanged hope for our countries to be able to cooperate.  that experience was followed by a wall constructed from vietnam era metal cargo walls being constructed, followed by a secondary wall with a road constructed for the border patrol.  the area pictured here is, or what is left of 'friendship park', where families could meet who were divided by the wall, for conversation and fellowship.  recently, this park was re-designed to be open only on occasion, and a thick mesh-like wall constructed so that sharing became constricted.

in order to visit this location of the federally patrolled land, one must enter a california state park, with park hours severely cut; this park, oddly enough, is a bird sanctuary.  ironic, no?  the final portion of the walls narrows to a single wall and into the water.

some statistics from the fiscal year 2011.  932,456 passengers and pedestrians come through san diego's border in a year; by car, it can take up to four hours to pass through; six hours if you are traveling on foot.  imagine that kind of daily commute, as most of those crossing the border are workers; some are able to afford a pass-card, allowing them entry in about 30 minutes.  very few workers can afford to live in the united states, and therefore return to their family home each workday.  there are patrols by land, air, water, horse and canine, covering 1,900 miles of border with mexico, and 95,000 miles of shore; illegal drugs and currency are at the heart of the border patrol.  ]

on the other side of the wall, we were met by members of the methodist church in mexico, who sang to us; we prayed together and heard some of their stories.  there is a community that is attached to this portion of the border on the mexico side; colorful houses, a more economically affluent community, with laughter and adults and children swimming in the ocean and enjoying themselves.  the united states side was desolate; no one one the beach except pelicans.



we celebrated the retirement of bishop mary ann swenson, having served for 20 years in the united methodist church.  she will retire to the hollywood united methodist church (humc), pictured here to be the resident bishop.

i decided i could travel home via hollywood!  what an experience.  humc is a reconciling church, and has a mission with its neighbors, the homeless, and hiv/aids.  on any given day you will see a variety of people -- some who are "recognizably famous" like pauley perrette who plays "abby" on ncis, and others who are famous in other ways, because of their faithful service to their community and the world.

this particular sunday, the church was continuing its 'crossflix summer sermon series, with a talk-back session with the filmmakers; pretty cool!  this sermon focused on the film, "hugo", with the talk-back being led by the visual effects supervisor ben grossman (who won the academy award, and is a member of this faith community).  among other things, i was reminded this day that 'at any given moment, we have the ability to say "this is not how the story is going to end".'  pretty cool, no?  this was a reminder for me that our own easter story does not end on good friday!

so i put the top down on my cabrio, having experienced disneyland, knotts berry farm, san diego and the borders of california and mexico, hollywood, the inland and the coast, settling on solvang for my final night away from home.

some childhood memories on this trip.  when i first went to disneyland, they still had individual costs per ride; the famous 'e ticket' got you on the matterhorn!  knotts berry farm was (and continues to be) famous for its chicken dinner!

solvang was an early stop with our family to enjoy a culture that was new to us; the danish community is thriving, even with a major highway dividing its borders. 

walking continued to be part of my daily routine, with my highest steps calculated at over 34,000 in one day!  it's a good thing i have been able to meet my goals for the last two quarters; i do believe i have earned a new pair of walking shoes!

would anyone else care to share about an exciting highlight of their summer?  chances are, my summer will settle down from here on out; and it's a good thing!  the fall is almost here...the days are hot, making it tougher to rush.  so, take some time for reflection, crack open that book you've been dying to read, and keep hydrated.  and, above all, stay open to the opportunity for the spirit to say, "go"!

seven years ... and a summer with confetti ....

july marks the start of my seventh year in ministry with the united methodist church of merced.  and i'm not itching to leave by any means.  while the economy continues to play havoc, particularly in california and merced in particular, our congregation continues to be invested in ministry, and generous in service.

we are in the midst of a heat wave...and, ya know, you just have to get through it.  i entered into a program with pg&e that cycles my electrical power during the summer.  usually i don't notice, but i did yesterday ... it probably would have been a good time to do something elsewhere, but, alas, i wasn't thinking! 

so, instead, i went outside (ok, you can see how i wasn't thinking) and took pictures -- of my home; seven years old to me, and i still like it!  perhaps not the wisest decision i've ever made in my life, but who knew the year i purchased my first home would have been the year the we began an economy crisis?!

alas, all i can say is that i am in better shape than many people, and things are going well.  in fact, i am delighted to return home each time to a reception from my crape myrtle ... and how many people can say that?!  besides being in full bloom in the heat of the summer, this beauty drops little 'peddles' that look like confetti to me, so i get 'rained upon' when i drive into my drive way...sometimes i even take my top down (from my convertible, that is) and pretend i'm in a parade...  ok, i'm really not that crazy, but ya know, after a long day, it's fun to just enjoy and relax.  and, one of the things i've never done since i've lived here is sweep up that 'confetti'...it blows into my grass and flowerbeds, and i figure, 'it's natural, and it must work like good compost'.  in other words, i don't worry about it; one less issue of stress!

when i was growing up, we had a palm tree in front of the house, and it was forever dropping palm frowns; daily, it seemed like.  it was my job to always keep the grass neat and tidy.  now, i figure my job is not to stress out, and i'm more than happy to follow 'the doctor's orders'!

and so here is the full, front view of the house; a nice place to come home to!

speaking of doctor's orders, i do what to share two events coming up in my life.  i'll be away next week to attend jurisdictional conference in san diego; this event happens every four years, usually including the election of a bishop (aka a united methodist ceo).  but this year, as the denomination begins to cut down on expenses, we will only be celebrating the retirement of one of our bishops. 

i'll be able to witness the strategy that western united methodist churches will take as we explore over the years ahead what it means to have open hearts, open minds, and open doors.

this california native will also explore a part of the state i've never been to before, as well as take a tour of the california-mexican border and hear the latest on immigration.  i'll also take a few days to enjoy the sights of southern california before returning home to do 'what the doctor ordered'. 

now that i've reached the ripe old age of 'past 50', i get to experience my first colonoscopy!  so, i may not return to my blog for a couple of weeks.  and that is something that has changed in my life...i've always made sure i've gotten all of my work done.  and doing a 'blog' became another 'got to have it done on tuesday or else' event.  i'm taking some of the pressure off of me; a good thing, i believe, and i highly recommend it!  it is not that i'm letting things slide; just being more intentional in making decisions that are beneficial and wholesome.  now, if i neglect to put a sermon together . . . . you might want to remind me of my priorities!  but for now, i'll just relish a bit more confetti, if you please!

two weeks later . . . .

since last i wrote . . . . two weeks later since the last time i shared ponderings on my blog . . . . i've been to annual conference in sacramento (a yearly event, usually around father's day) and enjoyed a 'stay'-cation in and around home.

unable to gather for either mother's day or father's day, kristen (and ben) met her mother and i for dinner (and guess who were the ones to pay...well, once the parents, always the parents, no?!)  we met at a restaurant called 'the dead fish', right on the water; wonderful.  and this is the picture i got for father's day.  ben took it of kristen, somewhere; he'd found a swing he thought she might enjoy . . . .

annual conference was per usual, with some exciting things and some less-than-exciting things.  i managed to get a doctor's appointment in . . . . and then i went on stay-cation; a vacation where there aren't any plans; wake when i want, go see a movie, read, exercise, water and eat; the usual things.

one of the movies i saw was 'people like us'.  a feel-good movie, worth a date-nite!  what's a date-nite?  well, not that i did this, but include a meal and someone to share the event with....ok, go whole-hog!  go out afterwards, even!

the picture to the left has nothing what-so-ever to do with the movie 'people like us'.  this is a picture of a tree in golden gate park, san francisco.  after having a quick trip to the foot-hills and a visit to amador city, i was in the mood to visit the area where i grew up.  so, heading out of the (hot) valley onto the coast was a fun time...and driving in my convertible is even better!

one of the adventures i was yearning to do was visit the japanese tea garden; such a peaceful place.  but, i advise staying away on a saturday, where it is less than peaceful.  i did meet a friend there to enjoy the day, and ran into someone i knew -- how often do you go someplace and run into someone you know?!

this is a picture of something in the garden.  sometimes i just snap a photo, and if it isn't out-of-focus, i keep it!  i just loving having a smart phone where you get to take a picture without lugging around a camera.  it isn't the best picture; it won't win the upcoming costco photo contest.  but, it is a reminder of a place i remembered and got a chance to visit again.

the fun thing about a stay-cation is the opportunity to be spontaneous.  with gas prices fairly low (ok, the mid-$3.00 range is pretty reasonable right now -- can i get an amen!)  you can rest in your own bed, eat breakfast at home (after your daily walk for healthy purposes) and not be pressured by the phone; you can turn your smart phone to vibrate, and enjoy!

the other two movies i saw.  one is 'brave'.  ok, this is a 'rent-a-kid' film, if you don't have one of your own handy.  invest in the large popcorn that gives you a free re-fill...ok, we won't share that the cost of the movie (now a matinee at $8) is cheaper than popcorn and a beverage.  who knew we'd spend more one eating than seeing?!  i usually do not eat/drink at the movies, but this might be the time to just 'do it', as the saying goes. 

(note to self; plan to walk further when eating popcorn and drinking a diet coke).

if you like the blood and guts kind of action film, you'll not want to miss the historical period piece, 'abraham lincoln: vampire hunter'.  OMG!  i missed half the movie covering my eyes, but, 'cha know, i have a new appreciation for how we got through the civil war!  (please note, this is not historically accurate).

oh,  now you can see why the tea garden pictures are so soothing to me!

a word to the wise.  as you travel this summer, remember to make sure you carry your NEW debit card, and carry just a little cash with you for those 'you don't take debit card' moments.  and, as always, 'traveling mercies'.  see you in church!