and so i report the very sad news that after five very faithful and productive years, my modem at home has called it quits.
such a sad state of affairs, when one is unable to attach to the internet, or send an e-mail -- all because modem has taken it's last technological breath! what to do; what to do?!
well, if you are me, and perhaps many of you ARE me in this situation . . . . you call at&t and have them walk you through the checking it out and the sorting through. then you hear the words you long NOT to hear . . . i think your modem has failed.
so, off to the store i go, with great hopes that i can just put this new modem on my at&t account. silly me. ok, i got over that one! and my spirit perked up when i was told that 5 years with the same modem was really good! sometimes, it is only 3 years. sometimes within one year!
so, i now hold the new world's record for the shortest time that a modem could survive in my home. from 5 years to less than an hour. defective modem? defective installer? just plain defective? so, back to the store i go . . . three phone techs and the last harry potter movie later, i am on line again. i'll pass up a lot when i want to get the job done, but never miss an evening with friends and harry potter!
my advice this summer? skip the modem, and go see harry potter. oh, alright . . . plan to spend an entire day dealing with your computer, and reward yourself with a movie!
i have to admire the techs. they were super! and, of course, i was reminded to fill out their evaluations on line. but, they were very patient, waited while i figured out what they were saying, and then tired to follow directions . . . does anyone else have difficulty following directions?
among other things, i got to move my den around! it seemed one tech asked if i had another computer to check on. as it turns out, a net book serves as a computer. but, i had to find an empty outlet, and so i moved my desk, and i moved my couch, and then i moved around my surge protector, which i've wanted to do for ages, and i found things that had dropped behind the desk, and decided that dust bunnies were better left outside, and now my room is all re-arranged, and i can't find a thing! BUT, i'm connected again. and it only took 3 tries and 2 modems.
i wonder if modems come in colors? my last one was grey. this one is white. maybe i'll find out next time! here's hoping that another 5 years will be enough!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
the "selling" of the past.
we, of the sandwich generation, understand what it is to live 'in-between'. we live in-between our parent(s) and our child(ren). or, if we are a blended family or single, we may not have children or we may have sets of children, or multiple parents or even grandparents or extended family for which we tend.
as many of you know who follow my blog, my mother needed to move from her home in december into assisted living; a lovely place, but still, smaller than where she lived before, and with less need of 'things'. and so we, my sister and i, sorted and packed and put furniture on consignment. lots of picture taking, but not lots of story sharing, as my sister and i often were not in the house at the same time. my sister and i are not 'chummy', much to my mother's chagrin!
two events happened this month that have caused the sandwich generation feelings to kick into gear more strongly. my mother has become a bit more distressed -- which has caused more phone calling on my part (and that's ok, because mom is more easy-going, now, once she is re-assured; everything becomes 'good, wonderful, fine', and that works out well for everyone).
the other event that happened was that the house finally fell into escrow, and an estate sale was scheduled. my sister is dealing with the house, and i became the holder of all the items that were not placed on consignment. half of my two car garage was filled with boxes that i had rapidly packed up in january and not thought too much about since. but yesterday, our united methodist women, god love them, began to set up for an estate sale.
if you have need for someone to come in and set up a sale in your home, this is the group you want to come in and do the sale for you. they are organized, they have collective wisdom, and they are very fair and efficient. and besides all that, with the funds they receive, they support mission locally and globally! no worries; your treasures are safe!
because i could not hold the sale at my house, i was invited to have them host a sale in conjunction with anther sale. so two truck loads and two car loads (in my vw cabrio with the top down) later, all the 'stuff'' was in the new location, and my garage was empty. an empty feeling came over me.
i helped set up the 'selling' of the past. our women offered me one room that expanded into two rooms that has now overflowed into a third room. as people helped to unpack these treasured memories, i got to tells stories. 'these friendly village dishes by johnson brothers were the dishes we ate off of every day'. 'this fostoria (pattern america) were for special occasions. the red velvet cake my mother made for holidays looked great on these clear glass dishes'. 'look at the milk glass collection!' 'what's this? i haven't a clue -- but it's sterling!' 'these recipe boxes actually have all the family recipes. oh, people are always looking for recipe boxes'.
on and on the stories went. as i left to do other work at the office, and let the estate workers take over, that empty feeling from the garage came back to me again. this really is 'selling the past'. there is a need to sell these long-time companions, and not hang on to so much stuff. and yet there is such a feeling of loss at a variety of levels.
the "selling" of the past makes cents and makes sense. mom will be comforted when the sales are completed, but also, for the rest of us, we will experience the pangs of loss associated with moving on from the past into the uncharted future.
i realize that some things cannot be sold. memories, which we use to think of as eternal, will become lost. my mom can't always articulate those memories, and i don't always know the complete story. that empty feeling will be filled with new memories, but never completely filled. as i gaze around my house, i have kept some items for memory sake, and to pass on to the next generation, who may or may not want them, but they get to make their own decisions.
i've kept a piece of fostoria -- a bud vase; i've some of the silver and the tea set from my aunt; i've kept two plates with gold edging that my parents used at a bar-bee-cue in bakersfield. these are the few remaining plates that the 'guests' did not passed over the fence as they were leaving the party. (can you imagine your friends stealing like that?!)
but as i look around my home, i also see several items i have purchased at estate sales, and i wonder their story. i also realize that i have too much stuff -- a resounding sentiment echoed by others setting up at the estate sale! so, one day, someone, perhaps the united methodist women, will hold an estate sale for me. the past will be "sold", but perhaps the memories will linger, just for a while longer . . . .
as many of you know who follow my blog, my mother needed to move from her home in december into assisted living; a lovely place, but still, smaller than where she lived before, and with less need of 'things'. and so we, my sister and i, sorted and packed and put furniture on consignment. lots of picture taking, but not lots of story sharing, as my sister and i often were not in the house at the same time. my sister and i are not 'chummy', much to my mother's chagrin!
two events happened this month that have caused the sandwich generation feelings to kick into gear more strongly. my mother has become a bit more distressed -- which has caused more phone calling on my part (and that's ok, because mom is more easy-going, now, once she is re-assured; everything becomes 'good, wonderful, fine', and that works out well for everyone).
the other event that happened was that the house finally fell into escrow, and an estate sale was scheduled. my sister is dealing with the house, and i became the holder of all the items that were not placed on consignment. half of my two car garage was filled with boxes that i had rapidly packed up in january and not thought too much about since. but yesterday, our united methodist women, god love them, began to set up for an estate sale.
if you have need for someone to come in and set up a sale in your home, this is the group you want to come in and do the sale for you. they are organized, they have collective wisdom, and they are very fair and efficient. and besides all that, with the funds they receive, they support mission locally and globally! no worries; your treasures are safe!
because i could not hold the sale at my house, i was invited to have them host a sale in conjunction with anther sale. so two truck loads and two car loads (in my vw cabrio with the top down) later, all the 'stuff'' was in the new location, and my garage was empty. an empty feeling came over me.
i helped set up the 'selling' of the past. our women offered me one room that expanded into two rooms that has now overflowed into a third room. as people helped to unpack these treasured memories, i got to tells stories. 'these friendly village dishes by johnson brothers were the dishes we ate off of every day'. 'this fostoria (pattern america) were for special occasions. the red velvet cake my mother made for holidays looked great on these clear glass dishes'. 'look at the milk glass collection!' 'what's this? i haven't a clue -- but it's sterling!' 'these recipe boxes actually have all the family recipes. oh, people are always looking for recipe boxes'.
on and on the stories went. as i left to do other work at the office, and let the estate workers take over, that empty feeling from the garage came back to me again. this really is 'selling the past'. there is a need to sell these long-time companions, and not hang on to so much stuff. and yet there is such a feeling of loss at a variety of levels.
the "selling" of the past makes cents and makes sense. mom will be comforted when the sales are completed, but also, for the rest of us, we will experience the pangs of loss associated with moving on from the past into the uncharted future.
i realize that some things cannot be sold. memories, which we use to think of as eternal, will become lost. my mom can't always articulate those memories, and i don't always know the complete story. that empty feeling will be filled with new memories, but never completely filled. as i gaze around my house, i have kept some items for memory sake, and to pass on to the next generation, who may or may not want them, but they get to make their own decisions.
i've kept a piece of fostoria -- a bud vase; i've some of the silver and the tea set from my aunt; i've kept two plates with gold edging that my parents used at a bar-bee-cue in bakersfield. these are the few remaining plates that the 'guests' did not passed over the fence as they were leaving the party. (can you imagine your friends stealing like that?!)
but as i look around my home, i also see several items i have purchased at estate sales, and i wonder their story. i also realize that i have too much stuff -- a resounding sentiment echoed by others setting up at the estate sale! so, one day, someone, perhaps the united methodist women, will hold an estate sale for me. the past will be "sold", but perhaps the memories will linger, just for a while longer . . . .
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
summer breeze ... didn't happen!
usually i can get my images to consent to be in the place that i put them. not today!
so you get pictures first. i traveled to san francisco for the 4th of july. the picture with the modern buildings and the church in the middle is just a funny sight to me. i believe that is st. patrick's catholic church, but don't hold me to it ... i've been in it, and remember it being dark inside, and i had the feeling that you should be very quiet in there...didn't want to disturb god!
but the city has grown up around it. i wonder what their ministry is all about ... now; surely they have changed their mission and vision over the years!

the guy with his hands folded in the shades is an art piece done by robert arneson, entitled 'california artist'. now, couldn't you have guessed that title?! and i thought, this is what people probably think that californians look like...and by golly, they do!
this can be found on the second floor of sfmoma -- see more information below about the summer breeze that didn't happen even in san francisco!

and where else would you find some 'body' on a roof but on 3rd street, south of market. south of market use to be a mix of 'don't go there alone; don't go there after dark; only strange people go there' when i was growing up. skid row use to be on 6th st. but now, south of market (or soho) is very artsy. the day was beautiful as you can see, but not a summer breeze in site!
so let me begin my blog where i actually intended to start, before my pictures got 'mis-placed'.
heat. hot. the house is hot. i'm hot. no complaints, just...where did the summer breeze go?
how to escape the heat, for a while. go to the movies. you have to know first off that i am not a woody allen fan. maybe i just connect with him in a way i don't want to admit, so i don't 'go there'. as a result, i rarely seek out a woody allen film, and if by chance i go to a film by him, i know within seconds!
so, last week, heat. hot. the house is hot. i'm hot. no complaints, just ... go to the movies. off i went to the first movie that started when i arrived; i wasn't picky. if i had been, i might not have gone. it was the matinee for $7.50 of 'midnight in paris'. i thought to myself, surely this was "meant to be". midnight seems to be when paris awakens! i loved visiting paris!
somewhere just as the picture begins to take off, i have a sense that woody allen is in the house!
sure enough...this is woody allen!!! BUT, it is GOOD! i'm drawn in, i'm interested, i get beyond the depressive main character that never seems to workout a relationship, and i begin to be a part of the story. it's paris, after all, and, there is time travel involved, and period costumes...i'm in love! i don't want to give anything away, but i will just say that gertrude stein is involved, which leads me to my next experience.
fourth of july. heat. hot. the house is hot. i'm hot. no complaints, just ... i gotta go find a summer breeze! so, when the invitation to go to the san francisco museum of modern art came along, i didn't hesitate ... and by the way, we'll see 'steins collect: matisse, picasso, and the parisian avant-garde'; it is showing on the fourth floor -- now through september 6th. no picture taking allowed of this collection. surely, san francisco will have a breeze -- and fog and 60 degrees!
i felt it was 'divine intervention'; god's still small voice that i listened to; both with midnight in paris and the steins collection, god just couldn't be wrong! so, all i can say is, GO! the combination of the two events helped me to understand the experience of that time period. it was educational! and i discovered that part of the stein family settled in palo alto after paris, just as wwii was beginning in europe. and i thought the 60's were turbulent! no breeze; no fog; no 60 degrees. but a perfect day!
ok, so today, back at work: heat. hot. the house is hot. the office is cooling. i'm still hot. no complaints, just ... ok, i did check the 10 day forecast; a cooling trend is on the way. maybe a summer breeze will happen by thursday! and maybe i'm changing too...this woody allen i could see again! and now to read up on the stein family. but first, a little easu and jacob!
so you get pictures first. i traveled to san francisco for the 4th of july. the picture with the modern buildings and the church in the middle is just a funny sight to me. i believe that is st. patrick's catholic church, but don't hold me to it ... i've been in it, and remember it being dark inside, and i had the feeling that you should be very quiet in there...didn't want to disturb god!
but the city has grown up around it. i wonder what their ministry is all about ... now; surely they have changed their mission and vision over the years! 
the guy with his hands folded in the shades is an art piece done by robert arneson, entitled 'california artist'. now, couldn't you have guessed that title?! and i thought, this is what people probably think that californians look like...and by golly, they do!
this can be found on the second floor of sfmoma -- see more information below about the summer breeze that didn't happen even in san francisco!

and where else would you find some 'body' on a roof but on 3rd street, south of market. south of market use to be a mix of 'don't go there alone; don't go there after dark; only strange people go there' when i was growing up. skid row use to be on 6th st. but now, south of market (or soho) is very artsy. the day was beautiful as you can see, but not a summer breeze in site!
so let me begin my blog where i actually intended to start, before my pictures got 'mis-placed'.
heat. hot. the house is hot. i'm hot. no complaints, just...where did the summer breeze go?
how to escape the heat, for a while. go to the movies. you have to know first off that i am not a woody allen fan. maybe i just connect with him in a way i don't want to admit, so i don't 'go there'. as a result, i rarely seek out a woody allen film, and if by chance i go to a film by him, i know within seconds!
so, last week, heat. hot. the house is hot. i'm hot. no complaints, just ... go to the movies. off i went to the first movie that started when i arrived; i wasn't picky. if i had been, i might not have gone. it was the matinee for $7.50 of 'midnight in paris'. i thought to myself, surely this was "meant to be". midnight seems to be when paris awakens! i loved visiting paris!
somewhere just as the picture begins to take off, i have a sense that woody allen is in the house!
sure enough...this is woody allen!!! BUT, it is GOOD! i'm drawn in, i'm interested, i get beyond the depressive main character that never seems to workout a relationship, and i begin to be a part of the story. it's paris, after all, and, there is time travel involved, and period costumes...i'm in love! i don't want to give anything away, but i will just say that gertrude stein is involved, which leads me to my next experience.
fourth of july. heat. hot. the house is hot. i'm hot. no complaints, just ... i gotta go find a summer breeze! so, when the invitation to go to the san francisco museum of modern art came along, i didn't hesitate ... and by the way, we'll see 'steins collect: matisse, picasso, and the parisian avant-garde'; it is showing on the fourth floor -- now through september 6th. no picture taking allowed of this collection. surely, san francisco will have a breeze -- and fog and 60 degrees!
i felt it was 'divine intervention'; god's still small voice that i listened to; both with midnight in paris and the steins collection, god just couldn't be wrong! so, all i can say is, GO! the combination of the two events helped me to understand the experience of that time period. it was educational! and i discovered that part of the stein family settled in palo alto after paris, just as wwii was beginning in europe. and i thought the 60's were turbulent! no breeze; no fog; no 60 degrees. but a perfect day!
ok, so today, back at work: heat. hot. the house is hot. the office is cooling. i'm still hot. no complaints, just ... ok, i did check the 10 day forecast; a cooling trend is on the way. maybe a summer breeze will happen by thursday! and maybe i'm changing too...this woody allen i could see again! and now to read up on the stein family. but first, a little easu and jacob!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
returning from vacation . . . what to do first
i've always thought that there should be some formula that one attaches to the computer screen that gives retiring vacationers a 'step by step' plan for what to do when returning to the office. i didn't get the memo for what to do first. so, i start trying to do everything first . . . try and remember the alarm code for my office . . . switch the air pump to a/c rather than heat, and turn it on . . . turn on the fan . . . turn on the computer to start the 'techie' stuff . . . pull out the pitcher to water the plants that are dying of thirst . . . check in with the office and pick up my mail, check the prayer board, and chat with staff . . . return to my cooler office and open up the e-mail; wait for the incoming mail; close the computer because there are too many e-mails to deal with -- ok, i didn't do that . . . start reading e-mails.
now, my latest/best discovery is to find the last responder to an e-mail 'chain', and scroll down and end up reading all the responses in one setting! that way, you can start deleting all the rest....great idea, except for the folks who do not 'reply all', and then you miss some responses.
delete the adds/junk mail. i've got that one down pat!
after checking my calendar to see if i've already missed a meeting or two, and taking a walk around the campus to see where we are on the remodel, i return to the office to 'reply all' to the chain of e-mails.
funny enough, i have somehow gotten on 'incredimail', and so in the middle of something, a man, dressed like a butler, walks across my screen and says, 'you have mail, sir'. who invited him into my office? i guess, somehow, i did! now, how do i invite him off of my computer screen...the first time shocked me; the second time (i was watering) he scared me -- honestly, i thought someone had come in through my other door! what's worse is he stays on my screen until i figure a way to excuse him -- he makes funny faces, stares at the silver platter with mail on it and says 'hum' and honestly, i sense he is about ready to clear his throat and speak again, until i acknowledge him in some way. so i 'left click on his faces (seems rude, i know) to which he makes a face, turns and walks away.
so, it is nearly lunchtime, and i have to restart my computer to do a software upgrade. after lunch i have centering prayer (yea!) and then i prepare for a meeting tonight, do some worship planning, finally get to my snail mail, and by that time, i'll have a whole new list of e-mails to respond to -- and my 'butler' will have walked across my desktop several times.
how does anyone get anything done when they return from vacation? maybe god is trying to tell me something .... 'go back home! finish that book you were reading! put your feet up' .... oh, i guess some people might call that 'wishful thinking'. i know i would!!!
so, what have i learned after a week of vacation? maybe i need to plan to include an 'ease on back into work day' when i return from vacation. the aim of such a day is simply 'catch-up'. that's the memo i need to publish! do you think it will catch on?
now, my latest/best discovery is to find the last responder to an e-mail 'chain', and scroll down and end up reading all the responses in one setting! that way, you can start deleting all the rest....great idea, except for the folks who do not 'reply all', and then you miss some responses.
delete the adds/junk mail. i've got that one down pat!
after checking my calendar to see if i've already missed a meeting or two, and taking a walk around the campus to see where we are on the remodel, i return to the office to 'reply all' to the chain of e-mails.
funny enough, i have somehow gotten on 'incredimail', and so in the middle of something, a man, dressed like a butler, walks across my screen and says, 'you have mail, sir'. who invited him into my office? i guess, somehow, i did! now, how do i invite him off of my computer screen...the first time shocked me; the second time (i was watering) he scared me -- honestly, i thought someone had come in through my other door! what's worse is he stays on my screen until i figure a way to excuse him -- he makes funny faces, stares at the silver platter with mail on it and says 'hum' and honestly, i sense he is about ready to clear his throat and speak again, until i acknowledge him in some way. so i 'left click on his faces (seems rude, i know) to which he makes a face, turns and walks away.
so, it is nearly lunchtime, and i have to restart my computer to do a software upgrade. after lunch i have centering prayer (yea!) and then i prepare for a meeting tonight, do some worship planning, finally get to my snail mail, and by that time, i'll have a whole new list of e-mails to respond to -- and my 'butler' will have walked across my desktop several times.
how does anyone get anything done when they return from vacation? maybe god is trying to tell me something .... 'go back home! finish that book you were reading! put your feet up' .... oh, i guess some people might call that 'wishful thinking'. i know i would!!!
so, what have i learned after a week of vacation? maybe i need to plan to include an 'ease on back into work day' when i return from vacation. the aim of such a day is simply 'catch-up'. that's the memo i need to publish! do you think it will catch on?
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
day 2 of my vacation . . .
for those who are wondering, no, i didn't post 'day 1 of my vacation' yesterday. as the a/c in the house wasn't working properly, i went to see "pirates" yesterday with 14 other people. nice and cool...and a great movie!
so, today, i waited for the a/c repair to be done, and it is a nice 80 degrees here...which beats the 107 degrees that are expected here in merced today. i don't mind the heat so much during the day if it cools down at night. but it was 85 in the house when i attempted to go to sleep last night.
and for those that wondered why i am staying home during my vacation, i am happy to report that i spent my vacation money fixing my breaks...but, you know, i feel safe, now, and thankful that i had the money for the repairs....
so, what does one do on vacation in merced? review last year's trip to europe! you may recall that this blog started because i was going on my wesley trip to england and a side trip to paris! well, i decided to review my photos this year. and, i've spent most of the morning laughing, with the recurring phrase, "I have no idea where (and sometimes what) that is!" ok, you can laugh too, because it seems "everyone" has photo stories to tell about their vacation trips.
all that to say, I'm going to take a short trip into 'the city' -- and if you have to ask 'which city', you didn't grow up in san francisco! now that the a/c is fixed, i'm heading to cooler sidewalks! i'm not sure if i'll go today, or another day, but, i'm having a nice vacation -- wish you were here!
isn't that why people send postcards -- just to say that phrase? i'm being "green" and having you read it here! hope you are finding coolness for the heat, and a change of pace for your summer...and if you have any helpful hints on how to speed up putting your vacation photos in folders, let me know....what a hoot....
so, today, i waited for the a/c repair to be done, and it is a nice 80 degrees here...which beats the 107 degrees that are expected here in merced today. i don't mind the heat so much during the day if it cools down at night. but it was 85 in the house when i attempted to go to sleep last night.
and for those that wondered why i am staying home during my vacation, i am happy to report that i spent my vacation money fixing my breaks...but, you know, i feel safe, now, and thankful that i had the money for the repairs....
so, what does one do on vacation in merced? review last year's trip to europe! you may recall that this blog started because i was going on my wesley trip to england and a side trip to paris! well, i decided to review my photos this year. and, i've spent most of the morning laughing, with the recurring phrase, "I have no idea where (and sometimes what) that is!" ok, you can laugh too, because it seems "everyone" has photo stories to tell about their vacation trips.
all that to say, I'm going to take a short trip into 'the city' -- and if you have to ask 'which city', you didn't grow up in san francisco! now that the a/c is fixed, i'm heading to cooler sidewalks! i'm not sure if i'll go today, or another day, but, i'm having a nice vacation -- wish you were here!
isn't that why people send postcards -- just to say that phrase? i'm being "green" and having you read it here! hope you are finding coolness for the heat, and a change of pace for your summer...and if you have any helpful hints on how to speed up putting your vacation photos in folders, let me know....what a hoot....
Monday, June 13, 2011
heading to annual conference
united methodists make a yearly pilgrimage to annual conference. annnual conference is our 'annual meeting', and this year, once again, we head to the convention center in Sacramento. our 'conference hotel' is the hyatt, just in case you need to make contact, and we'll be doing such exiting things as electing representatives to general conference -- a meeting that happens for the entire church every four years. we'll also eat regularly, and listen to reports, pray and worship, renew friendships and do other assorted business. the last thing we do our service to ordain and commission people who will serve professionally in ministry.
so, my usual thing to do before i leave is to, of course read my reports, but more importantly, get my house ready. i hate returning to a messy house...so i clean, refresh the bed and towels, move the plants, which are not on automatic sprinklers, to a place where they will get watered. i've watered the indoor plants and paid the bills. ironically, i don't have to go into the office today -- a first for me. but some time, i have to do laundry and pack.
aren't you glad you checked my blog today? where else would you get all this information?!
i hope and trust that you will have a good day. and when i get back home, it will be just in time to plan worship and get ready for vacation....do i have vacation plans??? you'll need to tune in next week to find the answer to that question! but in the mean time, relax and enjoy.
oh, by the way...we received 15 members on sunday through confirmation...a very spirited pentecost service....lots of people wore various 'fire colors' -- reds, oranges, blues and greens, yellow. A powerful experience!
and, on top of everything else, we have a new website...check us out by going to your search engine and looking for united methodist church of merced.
blessings....
so, my usual thing to do before i leave is to, of course read my reports, but more importantly, get my house ready. i hate returning to a messy house...so i clean, refresh the bed and towels, move the plants, which are not on automatic sprinklers, to a place where they will get watered. i've watered the indoor plants and paid the bills. ironically, i don't have to go into the office today -- a first for me. but some time, i have to do laundry and pack.
aren't you glad you checked my blog today? where else would you get all this information?!
i hope and trust that you will have a good day. and when i get back home, it will be just in time to plan worship and get ready for vacation....do i have vacation plans??? you'll need to tune in next week to find the answer to that question! but in the mean time, relax and enjoy.
oh, by the way...we received 15 members on sunday through confirmation...a very spirited pentecost service....lots of people wore various 'fire colors' -- reds, oranges, blues and greens, yellow. A powerful experience!
and, on top of everything else, we have a new website...check us out by going to your search engine and looking for united methodist church of merced.
blessings....
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
centering prayer . . . .
i've just returned from 'centering' with my centering prayer group. daily meditation is such a helpful way to remind me what is important in life. do you know centering? 'simply' let yourself be with god; try it for twenty minutes in the morning...and why not try it for twenty minutes at night?! create a word that will bring you back to your center (god) whenever your mind wanders -- and your mind will wonder! mine is 'shalom'. our minds are generally so full of chatter, it is difficult to focus; it takes practice. meditating allows us to simply try to be with god, and listen for that still small voice.
our group gets together on tuesdays at 1 pm. we check in for twenty minutes, center for twenty minutes (we use a song bowl to begin and end our centering time), and then we reflect on a reading from a book -- in this case, everything belongs; the gift of contemplative prayer, by richard rohr. if nothing else, i can just be for 20 minutes; i even turn off my phone! amine!!
we have been reading and discussion rohr's book for quite some time now. we've found his writings rich with thought-provoking things. the chapter we are currently on, don't push the river', has many sub-parts. but rohr says (p. 143), 'faith does not need to push the river precisely because it is able to trust that there is a river. the river is flowing; we are in it. the river is god's providential love -- so do not be afraid. we have been given the spirit. . . . the fears that assault us are mostly simple anxieties about social skills, about intimacy, about likeableness, or about performance. we need not give emotional food or charge to these fears or become attached to them.'
sometimes i can get focused on "pushing the river". i miss out on all the other 'stuff' around me, and i neglect to simply be in this moment, and not "make" the river be anything other than what rivers are; my trying to change the flow of things is like trying to get a river to change direction.
i can get so focused on completing the task that i miss out on enjoying the moment. completing the task may be glorious, but if one does not feel good about the process, than it's just a task that got done. what's so good about that?! other than the fact that i can now go onto the next task. and believe me, there is always another task that waits my attention. is that true for you?
so, why not spend a little time every day with god?! this 20 minute slice of heaven is, if nothing else, an opportunity to focus on nothing! and yet, it is not a waste of time. and besides all that, there are no calories involved! Now THAT is even a better reason to stay centered, don't you think?
our group gets together on tuesdays at 1 pm. we check in for twenty minutes, center for twenty minutes (we use a song bowl to begin and end our centering time), and then we reflect on a reading from a book -- in this case, everything belongs; the gift of contemplative prayer, by richard rohr. if nothing else, i can just be for 20 minutes; i even turn off my phone! amine!!
we have been reading and discussion rohr's book for quite some time now. we've found his writings rich with thought-provoking things. the chapter we are currently on, don't push the river', has many sub-parts. but rohr says (p. 143), 'faith does not need to push the river precisely because it is able to trust that there is a river. the river is flowing; we are in it. the river is god's providential love -- so do not be afraid. we have been given the spirit. . . . the fears that assault us are mostly simple anxieties about social skills, about intimacy, about likeableness, or about performance. we need not give emotional food or charge to these fears or become attached to them.'
sometimes i can get focused on "pushing the river". i miss out on all the other 'stuff' around me, and i neglect to simply be in this moment, and not "make" the river be anything other than what rivers are; my trying to change the flow of things is like trying to get a river to change direction.
i can get so focused on completing the task that i miss out on enjoying the moment. completing the task may be glorious, but if one does not feel good about the process, than it's just a task that got done. what's so good about that?! other than the fact that i can now go onto the next task. and believe me, there is always another task that waits my attention. is that true for you?
so, why not spend a little time every day with god?! this 20 minute slice of heaven is, if nothing else, an opportunity to focus on nothing! and yet, it is not a waste of time. and besides all that, there are no calories involved! Now THAT is even a better reason to stay centered, don't you think?
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